User:Darr320/User:Darr320/Linguistic Injustice: Education/Cmalves24 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Cmalves24)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Darr320/Linguistic Injustice: Education
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The article draft overall should be less argumentative. The point of a wiki article is just restate facts and opinions of other scholars, not to make an argument or try to persuade the audience. For example you make the claim “these disparities can have a significant impact on the future opportunities of pupils, resulting in lower college enrollment  and achievement rates, as well as lower lifetime earning”. While I agree with this statement, it is a claim that you have made yourself. You have formed your own opinion on the subject and have made an argument. Instead you should just stick to information from your sources and restate what they have said in your own words. You should also try to distance yourself from the information you write about so it does not seem like you are making your own argument. For example in the first paragraph you write “Linguistic Injustice has a large impact on the educational system and especially on students”. Instead of stating this information as a fact you should instead say that this is viewpoint of a group of scholars.