User:Davidmilligan88

User:davidmilligan88/Philip_Doyle Philip "Philippo" Doyle is a well-loved African-American author and creator of the hugely famous "Seaotter" saga. He was born on the 1st December 1988 to an Australian mother and a paraplegic father from Nairobi, Kenya. Doyle is widely regarded as one of the finest authors in the animal fantasy novelette series and has been widely praised for his almost superhuman ability to swallow Buckfast. I heard that once he drank almost 14 bottles of Buck and got so out of his head that he punched his mother and tried to hijack a bus with a common garden trowel. In other unconfirmed reports, Philip engaged in a scrummaging session with the infamous Reggie Corrigan which soon degenerated into a vigorous anal session.

It is hard to believe that Philip Doyle has remained alive for this long. In one infamous Buckfast-fuelled incident, Philip went on a rant about Peter "Merlin" Bradley (who incidentally looks a lot like a juvenile wizard) and his mother, who he accused of being the premier cheese-producing goat in the North of Ireland. This is as yet unconfirmed. In another hilarious incident, Philip kicked a young girl to within an inch of her young life due to the fact that she used excess teeth in the application of her mouth to his 14-inch dong. Oh dear, Oh dear.

Critics of Doyle have claimed that he was the figure behind the Oklahoma bombing amd was the initial inventor of water. However, these claims are widely disregarded as Doyle has spent most of his life investigating the secret life of the southern seawater otter. However, apparently he discovered that limes are, in fact, juvenile lemons. What about big Doyler?