User:Ddpit22/Saltine Warrior/Hudson1521 Peer Review

General info
(Ddpit22 and ShaynaLakin)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Ddpit22/Saltine Warrior
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Link redirects to Syracuse Orange page

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * 1) I think you have a good start to the lead. I would probably add a citation to the first sentence since you include dates. I'm sure once you continue to develop the article, you'll have some more information to include, but it would be beneficial to have information touching on the general important parts of the article (or maybe a description of what the mascot actually was, what specifically drew controversy).
 * 2) "Today, Syracuse University participates in many events intended to assist indigenous students." I think this sentencing may be teetering on the line of coming across as an opinion, unless you have a source that you can cite for it. Wording could even be changed to something along the lines of "Today, Syracuse University participates in and holds many events directed towards indigenous students"
 * 3) "Many programs have been set up at SU to support the indigenous population, such as a Native Student Program, established in 2006, helping transition students from a Native American tribe to the university." The wording on this sentence is slightly confusing, and when I first read it I took it not as helping students apart of a Native American tribe in the transition to college, but rather helping them no longer be part of a tribe because they are now in college. Maybe there could be a way to reword this just for clarity purposes? It also could just be a me-problem.
 * 4) Overall, I think it is an informative article that gives a good general synopsis of the mascot and other information. It is generally unbiased, however I would go through and reread just to make sure you do not include any sentences that allude to any type of opinion (or if it is an opinion, make sure to cite it and state who the opinion came from). I think it might be beneficial to add more citations since you had some sentences with information without linking to where you got the information from. A good draft and a good start!