User:Declatism4life

Magic fountain Live Life Simply.

Introduction

To be a Declatist is a Declan given gift. Praise him, the holy one of all. DECLAN

Declan rose from the holy mother Kim. Declan lives happily amongst LESBIANS LIKE SAVANNAH HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA, rainbows, butterflies and ice-cream in 'Console' (the equivalent of heaven). Tayla is the anti-declatist and she lives in 'Sex Before Marriage'(the same as hell). She lives amongst those in Sex Before Marriage who are not pure.

We praise the holy one Declan, creator of all, through computer games and cod.

One stormy night whilst Tayla the anti-declatist(SHUNNN) was sleeping, Declan came to her bedside and watched over her like he does everynight anyway, and started teaching her of all the magical wonders of Console. Tayla had put up with enough. She just wanted to sleep and dream of Leonardo Di Caprio and hippos, so she hit him over the head with a spade, which she used to build her award winning sandcastles in the under 17 division. Declan rose to Console after dying for us. Now, he feeds us ice-cream, in memory of him.

The Holy Spade (equivalent of the Bible in catholicism) holds all the teachings of Declan's disciples. Alexandra of lesbianism, James of cannibalism, Gabrielle of hemaphrodites and the holy mother of declan, Kim. Other unofficial disciples of Declatism include: - Savannah and Helene of Shitty Bricks - Maddie of Escorts - Sophie of Fried Chicken Wings - Caitlin of Spasms - Natalie of Billingualness - Gen of BBC Newsroom - Eimer of Strength

One thing that is different about Declatism, is that you can take the holy one's name in vain. Popular sayings include: ▪	DECLAN DAMMIT ▪	HOLY MOTHER OF DECLAN ('holy' is optional) ▪	DECLAN etc. ▪	KIM -      CONSOLE ABOVE!!!

Values and Beliefs The sacred religion of Declatism sprung from the inspiration of the Magic Fountain; the belief that this spiritual fountain breaths life into the very souls of all living creatures on the Earth. It is said that the Fountain Spirit came to Declan in a dream in the form of a cheetah and told him to spread the words, values and beliefs of the fountain to the world. Although Declatism may seem a complicated and difficult religion to comprehend, the values that hold true to it includes the belief in the simplicity of life. According to historical sources such as the 'Harvard Encyclopaedia of Founding Religions' one of the Declatist-Gnostics who was quite close to Declan states that the Holy One Declan Himself spoke endlessly of the simple life we should all lead.

In fact, this belief in simplicity was so deep that the Great Declan on High proclaimed that anything more complex than Quadratic Functions be burned in a bonfire outside the Kew Depot as a symbol of how complexity can torture the mind. (However, this short-lived rule had to be lifted, as iphones and internet cables were being burnt and disabled the use of Facebook much to the disappointment of Great Declan. Also, much of the water from the Magic Fountain itself had to be used to douse the flames, hence it is no longer possible to be baptised directly from the holy magic water).

The Declan Prayer

Holy Declan father of Console, We pray to you that we will be worthy to go to console one day,

And not join the anti-declatist Tayla in sex before marriage.

You raised from the dead to preach Declatism, after tayla of sex before marriage had killed you with the holy spade.

You gave everyone around you hope for the completion of cod.

You're the only person worthy enough of getting to level 198 of c.o.d. and you will be the only person to ever reach that level with all your holiness.

Your holiest disciples Alexandra of lesbianism, James of cannibalism, Gabriella of hermaphroditeness and Kim the holy mother of Declan who all love you dearly and praise you reguraly.

You’re like the king in chess who always wins everyones heart.

You are always there for us like our underwear, except Maddie cause she doesn’t wear any.

Jesus is truly jealous of you and your almightyness. You were always the favourite.

To be a true Declatist, you need to know the Declan call:

person 1- Dude, dude, dude, watsup?

person 1 and 2- DECLATISM!!!! (whilst chanting the holy one's name, make a 'D' with your hands).

WE WIN BOOYAHHHH

DECLAN RULES

WE HEART DECLAN 4 LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FAITHFUL COMPANIONS OF DECLAN (FCD) PARTY IT UP BITCHESSSSS

FUCK MY DECLATIST LIFE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO