User:DelinquoSavvy/User:Wendi Orozco Salazar/Roberto Mamani Mamani/Bibliography/DelinquoSavvy Peer Review

General info
Wendi Orozco Salazar
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Wendi Orozco Salazar/Roberto Mamani Mamani/Bibliography
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Roberto Mamani Mamani

Lead
There is no lead in the current draft, however that is an easy fix. The original article that is currently posted I feel does a good job in summarizing the highlights of the artist and should at least copy and paste the first paragraph to form the lead. Shortening the second paragraph could be done as well and adding details such as his involvement in the art programs mentioned later in the updated article would help as well. All those would create a lead that is short, informative and structurally sound.

Content
Added content does seem to be relevant to the article, though there appears to be some missing information. In the bibliography section, it does not mention where his parents ran away to/ where he grew up, it is left blank.

Additionally i feel there should be more of his artworks discussed or mentioned. All we get is the Buildings in Wiphala; while very important, it would be nice to see some other artwork to get an idea of his full range. Other stuff mentioned are just projects he worked on, such as the fashion trade, but are not given his exact involvement or work he produced from it.

Seeing the Wiphala Buildings really intrigued me, and I would like to see more of his work, its stated in the draft that he works in drawings and paint, so examples of his smaller work would be nice.

The sections about the fashion trade and art program might be better placed in the bibliography section and then specific works created from those projects can be added to the artworks section if needed.

Tone and Balance
Tone and Balance are done very well here. No examples of bias or a casual tone have stood out to me and the article is written really well. The only thing I can mention is the back and forth in either using the artists first or last name when referring to them. For constancy and out of respect I recommend only referring to them by last name or even using their full name at times.

Sources and References
A lot of the sources that are listed seem to have errors on them. Missing titles or something wrong with the link. Salazar should also add the sources from the original article, they are already there and seem to help. I think it would be best to add sources from museums and other such websites.

Here a couple I found might be a good place to start:

https://www.latamart.com/service/roberto-mamani/

https://www.muralarts.org/blog/bolivias-roberto-mamani-mamani-in-residence/

Not traditional museum websites but they seem to be reliable and could provide good insight on his paintings and exhibitions.

Organization
Generally everything is well written and broken down into understandable segments. There are missing words as mentioned in previous sections, such as the location of where the artist grew up. besides that the only other issue is the section of "this project to 5 months" when talking about the Wiphala Murals, "to" should probably be "took" and I think having it hand under the previous paragraph leave sit a little awkward. I don't know if this was supposed to be the start of another paragraph, but it should probably just be added to the previous paragraph.

Images and Media
The original article has a photo of Roberto Mamani Mamani so that can be transferred over very easily. I tried looking for fair use photos of the Wiphala buildings but didn't find anything useful or free of copyright. Just adding the one from the original article should be good for now.

Overall Impressions
Overall the article is well written and adds information that enhances and better describes the artist in question. The only major flaw I can see with it is the lack of information in certain areas. Adding more artwork and maybe some history of the artist in exhibitions or shows would add a great amount to it. Other comments I made around lack of content can be resolved with or two more sentences of context around the topic.