User:DesSantiago/Copaganda/Sr10721 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

DesSantiago


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:DesSantiago/Copaganda


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Copaganda

Evaluate the drafted changes
Tone and balance - The tone of the edits does not seem neutral. Words like "one of the main agents" and "prime example" seem to show some bias in what the author thinks is important. Consider changing these words to be more neutral.

The content is broken down very well; I think the new section will be beneficial for this article.

In the new intro addition, I think it might be a little wordy for the point you are getting across. It might read better just to keep the first half of the first sentence, as it will be implied there isn't a wide array of scholarly sources.

Try to find many sources to get your point across, even if they're already used in the article somewhere else. It will aid in the validity of your work if you show multiple sources saying the same conclusion. It is okay for sources to not be scholarly if there isn't scholarly articles on the topic, so look towards new and current sources from many views and perspectives.

I think your article update is on its way! Keep working at it and it'll be great!