User:Diomarys25/Music festival/Raizaj24 Peer Review

General info

 * I'm reviewing Diomarys25 draft. ( https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Diomarys25 )
 * User:Diomarys25/Music festival

Lead
Guiding questions:

I think the topic is well defined in the lead section. I find the original lead section to be very consice and it has a main idea of what the article will present. Maybe it could updated when more information is added. However, the first sentence of the draft could be better placed in the section "Festivals around the world".


 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?

Content
In the "History" heading, the "Ancient and medieval" and "Modern" sections could be united in one. "Ancient and medieval" needs more work and the second sentence could be the intructory sentence until the section is more developed. It could include the origins of music festivals, important figures, more abundant information of its purpose in the past, how it was percieved by society, when does it start to change from the main purpose to an entertaining activity. The draft has a good introductory sentence for now, but the second sentece needs review for grammatical errors, more specific information of the most popular genres that perform music festivals, and also, which genre performs more festivals and which one is more popular. Records of music festivals and important figures that attend to the festivals could be interesting for the reader.

The "Music education" heading is very informative, but for more improvement it can be mentioned examples of this kind of festivals. Also, the name could be changed to "Educational music festivals".

In the "Festivals around the world" heading the list of countries below can be added in it. For every country, or the most remarkable ones, there can be more specifics with facts that make every country different and how each country have their own way of doing music festivals. Here is a great opportunity to add a lot of pictures to show the style of every country.

In the "List of music festivals by genre", can be mentioned the most remarkable and famous festivals of each genre and artists that impact in each genre.

Tone and Balance
The tone is perfect: the only purpose is to inform.

Sources and References
Because this topic is not very academic per se, finding reliable sources (with the description of the training) can be difficult and I'm not sure if the sources can be considered as reliable. However, every link in the draft opens and I find each source to have relevant information for the topic.

Organization
The content in the draft needs more developing but that's okay because is only a start. Once more information is added there has to be an introductory sentence for every section and it needs to be more organized. Try to organize the information once everything you needed to improve the section is added. That way you can see what could be used as introductory information and how to organize it better.

Images and Media
Images haven't been added in the draft but I mentioned early that the "Festival around the world" is a great section to add images and contrast the diversity of every country. But really images can be added in every section of the article. Which was the first music festival registered with evidence, images of famous music festivals, important figures that helped through the development of this activity and important figures who antend to them. Add colorful images that catch the eye and represent the diversity and artistic side of every country.

Overall impressions
The draft is just starting but little by little more information can be added to shape it up.