User:Dirkingcow/sandbox

Dirkson is a bearded genus that created scrumbleship. He is also the CEO of OrangeHatTech LLC. Not much is known about The Dirkson. Some say he was born inside of a burning building, and his tears had not only put out the flames, but actually revived several members that have died from said flames. He then skipped preschool and went directly into college where he majored in Tea studies. But seeing as this was a waste of gods gift to condom factories. He then took up the hobby of programming.

At some point in his life a hat was carried across the wind (some believe this hat to have come from Moses) and landed upon Dirksons head. And there it had come to rest because his muscular biceps are too massive for him to reach his head. And the hat has become fused to his scalp.

His beard has been a part of him since he was born. It measures in the guinness book of world records as the most manly beard in recorded history. Artists that have studied it have gone insane, and some say it's where the lovecraftian ancient ones are resting, only to be awakened by Cthulhu.

Most complaints about Dirkson come from his large penis and high intelligence making others around him seem insignificant by comparison.

He is also more recently the impromptu head of the Dirkson cult. Followers have been known to change their name to some variation of Dirkson. This cult has been unjustly blamed for harassment of Non-cult members, but these allegations have come from proven drug addicts and disease ridden prostitutes.

Dirkson has never claimed to be the reincarnation of jesus, be we all know he is.

Nezumi was crafted by gods hands to be the perfect match (Adam and Eve were there to work out the kinks so Dirkson and Nezumi would be perfect). And she is the ultimate ying to his yang. Some say that everytime a baby laughs, it's because Nezumi giggled. She is also an award winning artist.

Her art is first drafted in heaven (her homestead), where it is held up against the beauty of God love. Once it has been agreed upon by angels that her art makes Gods love look like shit. Only then is it allowed onto earth.

May Dirkson live forever!