User:Discreetalmonds/Baron Hirsch's agricultural settlements in Argentine/Emmacmckee Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Discreetalmonds


 * Link to draft you're reviewing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Discreetalmonds/Baron_Hirsch%27s_agricultural_settlements_in_Argentine?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * (does not exist)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall Impressions:


 * well written
 * concise
 * logical flow

Lead:


 * you clarify the difference between the Argentine Republic and Argentina in the "Agricultural Colonies in the Argentine" section but I think this distinction needs to be made earlier because the switching between spellings throughout the beginning was confusing
 * good summary outlining what is to come
 * presents no information that isn't found anywhere else in the article
 * concise but has enough detail

"Personal Background" Section:


 * you say "Farmers in the 18th-century were viewed as prime citizens, and Hirsch wanted to open this status towards the Jews, who had not found success in agriculture across Europe" - can you explain a bit more about why farmers were viewed as "prime citizens," potentially talking about the ideology of "productivization"

"Agricultural Colonies in the Argentine" Section:


 * the way that you gave an a summary of what the colonies shared in an intro paragraph and then wrote individual paragraphs about the specific colonies was effective in demonstrating what they all had in common and the differences between them

"Stuggles" Section:


 * you say "Additionally, the agricultural practices proved problematic in the colonies, as they focused on a one crop system which could not handle the unpredictable weather patterns of the area" - what do you mean by one-crop system? were they mono-cropping? how did they eat if they were just growing one crop?

Tone and Balance:


 * tone is appropriate for a wikipedia article
 * not biased, no judgement passed on Hirsch's actions or the successes and failures of the colonies, simply stating the facts

Sources and References:


 * having learned about Hirsch, the JCA, and the settlements in Argentina in class, the information in this article seems factually correct to me
 * might you want to add something about the "Jewish Gaucho"?
 * diversity of authors present and plenty of sources
 * citation links work

Images:


 * images are relevant and helpful to understanding the article
 * images are not directly cited - I'm not sure if this is a problem or not

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