User:Divdiv25/Long-distance relationship

Attachment Styles in Long Distance Relationships
Attachment Theory is a theory pioneered by British psychologist John Bowlby. The theory is rooted in the idea that as infants and during early childhood we form early bonds with our caregivers, the degree and type of care we receive has lasting impacts on our ability to form relationships and connections through the rest of our lives. Research from American-Canadian psychologist Mary Ainsworth classified different categories of attachment styles including secure, anxious-ambivalent, and avoidant. Secure attachment involves assuming one is worthy of love and that others can be trusted, and emphasizes vulnerability, communication, and cooperation. Anxious attachment involves assuming others will abandon them which results in behavior such as clinginess, excessive self-sacrifice, and plunging into intimacy too rapidly. Lastly, avoidant attachment involves assuming others are untrustworthy leading to a fear of abandonment which results in behavior to keep people at a distance, shying away from intimacy, eschewing vulnerability, and leaving relationships prematurely. Avoidant can be further broken down to fearful avoidant (fears rejection and high anxiety, so avoids intimacy) and dismissive avoidant (dislikes intimacy, so avoids relationships). The nature of long distance relationships (including frequent separation, decreased partner accessibility, lack of physical intimacy, etc.) presents unique dilemmas in relationships. Research from a multitude of studies show that attachment styles play a role in and impact long distance relationships, specifically the success, longevity, and satisfaction of long distance relationships. Due to geographic separation, long distance relationships present increased risk of partner inaccessibility and separation. Overall, attachment style seems to influence success in long distance relationships. Securely attached individuals are better at communicating and dealing with the constant separation in long distance relationships. Generally, people who were anxiously attached in long distance relationship were extremely aware and saddened by their partner's absence which amplified their anxious qualities leading to greater relationship dissatisfaction. On the other hand, anxiously attached individuals in geographically close relationships will be anxious, however, their partner's more frequent presence will provide reassurance that is harder to obtain in long distance relationship due to geographic separation and infrequent solace.

Research conducted by Ji-yeon Lee and Mary C. Pistole at Purdue University in 2012 discovered that securely attached individuals preferred to be physically with their partner, however, were not anxious when apart. On the other hand, anxiously attached individuals felt insecure, negative, and overly critical when apart from their long distance partners. Avoidantly attached individuals tended to resist true intimacy, but found the separation with their long distance partner to be painful and thus brought out more of their defensive behavior. For all attachment styles, the study showed that verbal reinforcement, frequent communication, refraining of criticism, self-disclosure, and positivity (hallmarks of securely attached individuals) all improve relationship success in long distance relationships.

In a study conducted by psychologist Mary C. Pistole (2010), the researchers investigated attachment, relationship maintenance behaviors, and stress in both long distance as well as geographically close romantic relationships. The participants were in serious romantic relationships, some were geographically close while others were long distance, and they completed two main attachment measures, two maintenance behaviors measures, and one perceived global stress measure. The study found significant attachment style differences for some maintenance behaviors in long distance relationships. It also found that different attachment styles contributed uniquely to perceived global stress in long distance relationships. Secure attachment styles have positive views of themselves and their partners and seek proximity to their partner. Dismissing-avoidant attachment styles have positive view of themselves but negative views of their partner. Fearful-avoidant attachment styles have negative views of themselves and their partner. Anxious and/or preoccupied individuals have negative view of themselves and consider their partner essential to their worth and have extremely high anxiety and constantly attempt to increase partner proximity. Studies found that secure individuals report more frequent use of conflict management and positivity than fearful avoidant individuals. Individuals that are insecure and anxious become vulnerable to negative effects of long-distance relationship. Insecure individuals disclosed less to their partners, idealized them more, and were overall less satisfied in the long distance relationship. Secure and anxious individuals demonstrated more introspection and used advice to maintain long distance relationships compared to avoidant individuals. In long distance relationships, using less positivity (exhibited by anxious attachment individuals), more giving of advice, and more introspection contributed to higher perceived global stress. In these long distance relationships, when under stress, the anxiously attached individuals obsess more over their partner's physical absence leading them to be less positive, more demanding, and less satisfied in the relationship.

Research from studies conducted by psychologist Joshua Hammonds (2020) studied how attachment style effects self-disclosure, trust, and satisfaction of individuals in long distance relationships. Overall, measures such as self-disclosure, trust, and satisfaction, do not vary that much between long distance relationships and geographically close relationships primarily due to new, innovative technology that has improved ease and frequency of communication. However, long distance relationships make relationship intimacy much harder, and it requires more communication and self-disclosure, hallmarks of secure attachment styles and pitfalls for insecure attachment styles, for overall relationship success. They found that attachment style and self-disclosure predicted relational trust, uncertainty, and satisfaction as well as influenced overall success of long distance romantic relationships. Relationship uncertainty in long distance relationships involves the degree an individual questions their role within a relationship, their partners commitment, their own commitment, whether the relationship is worth the effort, whether the relationship will ever become geographically close, etc. Uncertainty can increase in long distance relationships due to excessive separation, long periods of time apart, and uncertainty of separation time. The studies found a negative correlation between self-disclosure and uncertainty. Therefore, it is crucial for individuals in long distance relationships to self-disclose to their partners to reduce relationship uncertainty that is present in long distance relationships. Increase self-disclosure in long distance relationship is positively correlated with increased levels of trust and overall relationship satisfaction. The researchers found from their studies that securely attached individuals demonstrate higher levels of self-disclosure, more awareness of relationship uncertainty, increasing relationship certainty once they self-disclose, and increasing levels of trust and satisfaction in their long distance relationships compared to insecurely attached individuals. Anxious/preoccupied attachment style individuals showed no significant association with increase in self disclosure; primarily due to the fact that they are already highly anxious about the relationship so a long distance relationship doesn't provide a new significant source of uncertainty. Fearful avoidant and dismissive avoidant individuals showed lower levels of self disclosure in their long distance relationship primarily due to their high levels of distrust. The nature of long distance relationship (increased separation, greater risk of inaccessibility, less intimacy, more unknowns, etc.) seems to amplify personal and relational characteristic of avoidant attachment styles such that self-disclosure cannot have its typical effect of lowering relationship uncertainty and increasing relationship satisfaction and trust.