User:Dmar24/Peace Corps/OneWomanOneVoice Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(OneWomanOneVoice)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Dmar24/Peace Corps


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Peace Corps

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * Lead- I see that you have done some updating in the section that you titled background. I think that you might want to have a second look at your lead to just to check minor grammar errors with use of plural words where they may not be needed.  You stated that there were three main goals of the peace corp. but I think they needed to be listed following that statement more directly.  I think that you should include some citations in your background so that the reader can access the original information if need be.
 * Content- I did like that you gave an overview of the legislative history. I think this was a nice section that you added that didn't exist in the current wiki page.  Be careful with wording like moreover, and furthermore.  They can be to familiar in text and seem to be conversational than informative.  Once your provisions are added I would make sure that they are also cited.  The current information that is listed under provisions doesn't seem to fit there.  I wasn't sure if you planned on moving it to another section or making it a subsection within the provisions.
 * Tone and Balance- I think that the information that you have currently has a good tone and balance. I would just be careful with language that makes your article sound more like an essay and less like an informative article.  I think you are headed in the right direction with the information your have so far.
 * Sources and References- I wasn't able to click on the links within your article to access cited material. Make sure that your cited sources are able to be accessed when you do your final publish.
 * Organization- I think that the layout of your article is good and as your draft is a little more developed I think it will have good flow to it.
 * Overall impressions- I think that what you have so far is a good start to what will be developed into a good article. I notice that the original article is pretty lengthy and I was wondering if you think that it was overkill and plan to leave out all the addition graphics in your final draft.