User:Dmosh75/Spanish flu/Jbuec2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Dmosh75


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Dmosh75/Spanish flu
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Spanish flu

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead for this article is well written, and the information that Dmosh75 wrote about the higher mortality rate coincides with the lead, which is good.

Content: Some of Dmosh75's information is repetitive from the subsection titled "Information Dissemination," which Dmosh75's information will fit best into. In that section there is only information on Italian, Irish, and German media, so American media would be great to represent in this section.

Tone: Dmosh75 does not appear to have a bias, but some of their diction seems aggressive in placing blame on some media outlets or even assuming the opinion of the American populous. (About the comment Dr. Martin made, because you did not cite it, it comes off as your own opinion which is heavily biased if left unsourced).

Sources: The links for the sources do not work. Additionally, they are from the same author but in different fonts.

Organization: The writing in this section by Dmosh75 is coherent, well-written, and grammatically correct.

Impressions: The first paragraph starts off weak, but improves. Cutting the first sentence and adding that information into the 'Information Dissemination' section will work very well for the article. The section paragraph is less coherent, and the point is not argued well enough to be understood. For that argument, some specific evidence from the media outlet may help clear up how Literary Digest tried to scare the public. The content can be improved by showing all of the different institutions that either intentionally or unintentionally spread misinformation no influenza, as well as when everything came falling apart for them and how the public responded, as well as how media changed their narrative when the true nature on influenza was understood.

Keep up the good work. Jbuec2 (talk) 01:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)