User:Dnh22/Deaf plus/Athorn17 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Dnh22


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Dnh22/Deaf plus


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * I cannot find one. I do not think it exists.

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * The lead looks good! It covers main points of the article and gives a good idea of what the article will be about. One thing I would change is the sentence flow of the lead. The sentences could flow from one to the next a bit better. This is not a content issue, just readability.
 * The article definitely meets notability requirements as far as I can tell.
 * All of the content of the article is relevant, and it is clear why the information included. One question I had is why certain disabilities are given more description than others and some are given no description at all. This might just be because it is still a work in progress, but if not, I would recommend putting all disabilities which you are going to write about yourselves at the top and then adding a list of additional disabilities at the bottom with links to their respective wiki pages like you have right now. If there is no reason why some disabilities have more written about them than others, I would recommend balancing out the page so that each disability is given similar descriptions.
 * The tone of the article reads very neutral. If y'all did have a bias in writing it, you did a good job hiding it!
 * Each claim was cited and there were many citations throughout each paragraph. Nice job!
 * There are a couple of citations which I am wondering about: "Hearing Loss in Cerebral Palsy Patients: Is It Treatable?" and  "Hearing Impairments Associated with Cerebral Palsy"  I do question whether wikipedia considers these acceptable reference, but I don't know the answer. Just something to look into.
 * The following reference "Supporting Success For Children With Hearing Loss | Hearing Loss PLUS Additional Disability(ies)" has references at the bottom. If these can be used instead of this website or in addition to this website, that would be best.
 * A few specific comments about certain sections:
 * I am confused by the following sentence. Perhaps it could be revised: "Many of those with Deafness and cerebral palsy have bilateral hearing loss, but it has been found that those who have unilateral hearing loss tend to have greater severity.”
 * I understand the following sentence, but it is still awkward to read: “Other solutions used to allow for communication and language to be introduced to those with cerebral palsy are speech therapy and augmentative and alternative communication.”
 * Additionally, I think it would be worth explaining what AAC is here as many readers probably don't know and it is very relevant to the lives of many Deaf plus students.
 * A brief explanation of what glue ear is in the down syndrome section would be helpful.
 * Learning Disabilities is a great section! I love how it really love how it touches on the unique difficulties experienced by those who are both deaf and have a learning disability, rather than just one.
 * The first paragraph about dyslexia is really well written. However, the second one is a bit confusing. This could be revised for clarity.
 * Finally, it is unclear to me why dysgraphia and dyscalulia are grouped with dyslexia since there is no description of either of them included in this section. I would recommend either including information about them in this section or making them separate links like other disabilities which have just been linked in the article.

Overall, looks like y'all are making really nice progress! The article is neutral, notable, well researched and well written. Keep up the good work!