User:Dnh22/Deaf plus/Nqm5156 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bradleysmiley, Dnh22


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Dnh22/Deaf plus


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A - article does not yet exist on Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * For first sentence in the lead section, put "deaf plus" in bold so that it stands out among the rest of the lead section (this is suggested in the Quality Checklist on our course home page).
 * You mention intellectual disabilities in the lead, will these be explained further in later sections in a similar manner as you did for ASD, deafblindness, and learning disabilities? Since it is one of the four most concomitant types, I believe that intellectual disabilities should have a section/subsection like the others have.
 * I notice you mention diagnostic overshadowing, but the sentence was not complete in the lead section(above the table of contents box). You may need to either complete the sentence, move to a different section, or remove entirely.

Content


 * Content is relevant and up-to-date.
 * I appreciate that you created a page on this topic, as it addresses Wiki's equity gaps and discusses a topic related to an underrepresented group.
 * Some sections have headings/subheadings but have no information presented about the topic (e.g., the three hereditary syndromes, the three types of maternal infections, ADHD). I can see that you linked to other Wikipedia pages, but the formatting looks incomplete without any other sentences under the subheadings. These sections need to have information added to them (brief summary -- maybe adapt the lead sections from each of the articles you link to?) or be removed before publishing. Also, consider referencing the Blackboard resources from the Speech class we took last fall:
 * A Parent's Guide to Genetics and Hearing Loss (info on cytomegalovirus)
 * Understanding the Genetics of Deafness (info on Usher Syndrome)

Tone and Balance


 * Tone of the article is neutral and the information is balanced, as you discuss different language modalities and audio/visual technologies utilized by deaf plus community.

Sources and References


 * Reference list includes books and empirical articles. Just be careful because I know Wikipedia tends to be strict when it comes to articles related to medical topics. As a result, literature reviews and meta-analyses may be considered more reliable and acceptable than independent/individual studies.
 * I had some trouble accessing source #18 Demographics, so just double check that link.
 * I am curious if you were able to find and include any sources by Deaf plus people as well as BIPOCs?

Organization


 * I like how you included headings as well as subheadings. It really helps to see the breakdown and how each concept is related.
 * Consider adding a section on the education barriers impacting students who are deaf plus based on this sentence: 264 teachers of Deaf students reported they did not receive disability specific training for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder/attention deficit disorder (35%), autism spectrum disorder (73%), emotional behavior disorder (58%), intellectual disability (51%), learning disability (37%), and visual impairment (61%).

Images and Media


 * Suggestion - Can add images of common physical symptoms for the syndromes.
 * Suggestion - Can add images/media that simulate what it is like for a person with dyslexia to read, dysgraphia to write, and/or dyscalculia to solve math equations.
 * Suggestion - Can add images comparing a person's writing when one has dysgraphia versus when one does not.
 * If adding pictures/media, be sure to include visual descriptions for Blind/Deafblind community.

Overall Impressions


 * Well-written
 * Includes links to other Wikipedia articles
 * Consider what articles you could edit to include links to your article. For example, maybe on the Wiki page for Deafness you could add a sentence like, "Deaf and hard of hearing individuals with additional disabilities are referred to as Deaf plus", and link to your article.


 * Melmira & DPAN have done a number of vlogs on Deaf plus community. Perhaps having a section with external links to these videos will provider readers access to interviews with these community members. See some examples below:
 * First of four part Melmira video series on Deaf plus with cerebral palsy -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrST44KgAzs
 * Melmira | DeafBlind Latino Artist -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o-si4uM2TM
 * DPAN Usher Syndrome in the Workplace -- https://m.facebook.com/DPANTV/videos/332513837596065/