User:Doctorvic

The C.F.A.D.E. Event
Cryogenicaly Frozen Anus Durability Experiment

This experiment was conducted in the early hours of July 23rd, 2003. The test subject was a mild mannered black house cat named Butterfly (hereafter referred to as 'subject' or 'test subject'). The details of the experiment are still classified, but various sources agree it was done to further our understanding of the feline anus and its capacity for regeneration. During the course of this experiment, no anesthesia was given in order to observe the reaction of the feline, as it was assumed it would be typical for the behavior of the species as a whole. The test involved the cryogenic cooling of the anus for a very short period of time in order to minimize the damage to surrounding tissues and structures. The test was conducted in the clinical environment generally associated with a suburban back yard. The subject was gently restrained while an aerosol of compressed liquid Diflouroethane was applied directly to the test area for a duration of 1.5 seconds. Upon application general surprise and discomfort was noted on the subjects face with much twitching of the whisker structures. This was considered normal, given the procedure. Within seconds of the application the Diflouroethane had evaporated leaving only small ice crystals which had condensed from airborne moisture. After 37 seconds the ice had evaporated. After an additional 43 seconds surface temperature of the subject area had normalized. The subject displayed general agitation and began an incessant vocalization which prematurely ended the experiment. Although much data was gathered to further the longevity and omnipotence of man, it was decided that the cost was to high. The next round will involve the anal structures on invertebrates. A side note to this experiment involved the moniker later assigned to the subject. Her 'virgin' name was Butterfly. After the experiment, due in no small part to the seepage that occurred for some time, her name was legally changed to ButtJuice in honor of her sacrifice.