User:Drernie/St William of Oregon

Saint William of Oregon is a world-famous historian, book author, and controversialist considered the Father of the Neo-Reformation and the patron saint of New Christianity. He is known for his in-depth scholarship, fiery denunciation of sin and hypocrisy, and Christ-like love for his fellow human beings. He was canonized on February 18, 2046 at the first Universal Council of Religion, which is recognized by most Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, and Zoroastrians, as well as many atheists and Reformed Muslims (still considered heretics by traditional Muslims). His symbol is the swastika, a now universally-recognized emblem of peace he is widely credited with rehabilitating. While the author of many widely-read textbooks on history, religion, and politics, he is best-known and loved for his richly-textured philosophical novels, which earned him the title 'The American Dostoevsky.' = Neo-Reformation = The Neo-Reformation began on Easter Sunday, April 21, 2019, when William was awakened in the middle of the night by a visitation from Jesus. Nobody knows exactly what transpired between them, but whatever it was filled William with a holy boldness and magnetic personality few could resist. He cashed out his life savings to travel to Portland, where he interrupted the Easter Chapel service at Western Seminary. Through sheer force of personality, William took over and preached a sermon (broadcast live on the Internet) now known as the Five Difficult Truths. He castigated evangelicals for their rejection of science, empty pietism, religious narrowness, and idolatry of the Bible. He called them to follow Jesus by embracing people of all traditions who share their values, and devote their lives to improving society by the reform of morals.

Several professors attempted to denounce him, but were overwhelmed by his righteous zeal and encyclopedic knowledge of biblical and other middle eastern texts. Many students rose up en masse to follow him, and he led them across town to Portland State University, where he spent the day debating and converting atheists, homosexuals, Muslims, and both liberal and conservative Christians. The students then commandeered the largest lecture hall on campus, where he spent the week expounding on the Five Difficult Truths and mobilizing teams to spread his message to universities across America and around the world. These followers were called Williamites and became the first community of what we now call New Christianity.

= The Destruction of Islam = William's success at converting Muslims, especially the way he publicized and denounced the negative impact of Islam on society, quickly led to several imams calling publicly for his death. This immediately made him a hero to the religious right, many of whom flocked to him firearms in tow to become the bodyguards known as William's Warriors. After they repulsed several highly publicized ambushes from jihadists, Portland become the first city in America to require imams to sign a loyalty oath renouncing honor killings, glorification of violence, support of terrorists, and subjugation of women. When liberal justices struck down the law as discriminatory against Muslims, Portland simply made it a non-binding resolution that applied to all religious organizations, which everyone but the Muslims gleefully endorsed. This become known as the Portland Declaration, and rapidly spread to cities across America and eventually around the world.

The political pressure was so strong that breakaway imams started endorsing the Portland Declaration to ensure the survival of their congregations. This become a movement known as Reformed Islam, which emphasized the Mecca Quran and effectively disavowed the Medina Quran. At Mecca during Ramadan, a small group of Reformed Muslims and Williamites attempted to peacefully hand out newly-published versions of the Mecca Quran. They were quickly hauled before the religious authorities, who had them brutally beaten and summarily beheaded while Saudi soldiers and police jeered at them from the sidelines. The videos of this event quickly went viral, and pressure mounted on the Saudi government to condemn the killings and host an international tribunal, or risk losing all Western aid and arms.

The Muslim Civil War
When the King refused, the military engineered a coup and declared Reformed Islam the official religion of Saudi Arabia. This led to a series of jihads and counter-jihads that eventually became known as the Muslim Civil War, which engulfed the entire region and toppled a whole series of governments. It only ended when a group of Medina terrorists detonated an atomic bomb at Odessa, leading to a United Nations resolution condemning Medina Islam as contrary to basic human rights and refusing to recognize any government which supported it. When the dust settled, the Middle East was largely run by secular governments committed to human rights and international transparency. The only remaining state religions were Reformed Islam in Saudi Arabia, and surprisingly Zoroastrianism in the newly-renamed Persia.

= The War on Homosexuality = One of William's first moves was to launch a weekly TV show on YouTube called Homosexuality Today, where he interviewed psychologists, sociologists, and scholars in order to expose how homosexuality had perverted science, culture, religion, and basic human biology. His intelligence, humor, and passion attracted millions of viewers -- and not a few enemies.

Elizabeth Martin
When homosexual organizations labeled his show "homophobic disinformation", he responded by inviting them to send a representative to set the record straight. Because of his scrupulous adherence to published facts, they knew they could not actually defeat him in an honest debate. Instead, they decided to play to the crowd. They sent Elizabeth Martin, a beautiful, provocatively-dressed 29-year old lesbian with dual Ph.Ds in psychology and philosophy -- who was also the captain of her college's championship debate team. Their intent was to goad William into publicly attacking a sympathetic victim, creating a martyr that would rally public opinion against him in order to distract from the intellectual issues at stake.

Unfortunately for them, their strategy backfired. In a live broadcast from Carnegie hall -- which many have since compared to Jesus' conversation with the woman at the well -- William gently deflected Martin's attacks and drew her into vulnerably sharing the abuse and propaganda that had let her to choose a homosexual identity. The debate ended with Martin in tears, and William praying for her to forgive those who had wounded and deceived her.

They continued to meet privately after the debate, and six months later they were married. Many commentators noted a distinct change William's rhetoric after the wedding. While he continued his strident denunciations of what he dubbed 'the homosexual elite,' he was always careful to stress that this was an intellectual attack, and that individual homosexuals should always be treated with respect and dignity.

The San Jose Incident
This shift was most evident in the wake of the "San Jose Incident", when a rogue group of William's Warriors clashed with homosexual activists in a violent confrontation that led to a teenage lesbian being hospitalized and the Billy Frank LGBTQ Center being burned down. William immediately flew down and gave a moving speech on the value of human dignity. While he endorsed just war theory, the 2nd Amendment, and self-defense, he called on his followers to practice non-violence in public demonstrations and avoid inflammatory speech and actions. Even though video footage clearly showed that it was a gay activist who had instigated violence and accidentally sparked the fire, he ordered the rogue Warriors to submit to the court-mandated community service as penance for their folly in putting themselves in that situation. As he put it, "The right to self-defense implies a responsibility to avoid fights with idiots."

Sexuality Crisis Centers
Rumors continue to swirl that the anonymous donation to rebuild the Billy Frank center came from William's wife Elizabeth, despite violent denials from both sides. Elizabeth herself said nothing, which was not unusual since she largely avoided the public eye. Her energy instead went into organizing a chain of 'sexuality crisis centers' -- modeled after crisis pregnancy centers -- the first of which was literally next door to the rebuilt Billy Frank center. These provided a safe, non-judgmental place where youth and others confused about sexuality could experience healthy relationships while learning the psychological truth about the dysfunction and cure of same-sex attraction and gender confusion.

Homosexual activists frequently picketed these centers (which in an ironic twist they labeled "gay abortion clinics"), and occasionally tried to bomb them. Several states passed laws forbidding distribution of such materials and ideas, which eventually led to a landmark Supreme Court ruling hailed as the modern equivalent of the 'Scopes Monkey Trial.' In a 5-4 vote that infuriated both sides, the Supreme Court maintained that the question of whether homosexuality is pathological was a scientific issue that should be resolved by free and open debate, not a political issue to be decided by laws and judges.

Though William initially complained that the ruling did not go far enough, it marked a turning point in the sexuality culture wars. Forced to compete on the basis of facts rather than sentimentalism and intimidation, gay activism went from being a "cause celebre" of the left to an embarrassing relic of their past (much like communism became after the fall of the Berlin Wall). William continues to push for state-mandated education on the science of sexuality, but many observers argue that the grass roots testimonials and research coming out of sexuality crisis centers are themselves likely to lead to the de-normalization of homosexuality within a generation

= The Radical Centrist Revolution =

Saint-Simon University
By May of 2019, Western Seminary had lost most of its students (and much of its credibility). A group of rich Williamites purchased the Portland campus and -- at William's insistence -- renamed in Saint-Simon University. Williams was named Activist-in-Residence, moved into the former President's mansion, and provided with an annual salary of $250,000 a year.

Reinventing Democracy
On August 3, 2019, William hosted a week-long symposium there called "Reinventing Democracy." Thousands of devotees attended from around the world. The most notable aspect of William's role was his silence. After a rabble-rousing opening sermon on Sunday morning introducing the political philosophy of Radical Centrism, he literally didn't say a single word until the closing outdoor chapel service the following Sunday. At that point he explained that his greatest concern was building a movement that would outlive him but stay true to his ideals, so he wanted to observe how Williamites acted without his explicit guidance.

He then proceeded to give what has been dubbed The Sermon on the Quad, where he layed out the core principles Williamites follow to this day. He also appointed a Council of Twelve to act as stewards of the movement, which included diverse experts in history, economics, politics, education, technology, and communication. Finally, he invited one hundred of the most brilliant, passionate, and well-connected delegates to spend the rest of the month working with him and the Twelve on a strategy for redeeming America.

The Story of America
On the first Monday of September (now celebrated as Democracy Day), William and the Twelve held a public press conference where they unveiled and read "The Story of America," a brief novella brilliantly integrating a historical narrative (of how and why the country ended up divided between a Stupid Party and an Evil Party) with a fictional narrative of the future (where a Radical Centrist politician from Virginia brings us back together to usher in America's first Golden Age of culture and morality). This served as the prelude to newly-converted Williamite Senator Mark Warner from Virginia announcing he would run for the Presidency of the United States as part of the newly (re)formed Bull Moose Party.

As is now obvious in hindsight, Warner's combination of working-class values, Christian morality, and rational approach to public policy was exactly what the country was desperate for. By January 2020, Warner had a 52% favorable rating and was projected to win a plurality of voters. Several governors, a dozen senators, and scores of representatives endorsed Warner and switched to the Bull Moose Party -- and those that didn't watched nervously as Williamites and their sympathizers mounted insurgencies both inside and outside the two "legacy" parties.

The Gingrich Conspiracy
Of course the power brokers in both parties didn't takes this lying down. They used every dirty trick in their playbooks in an attempt to besmirch and discredit Warner and William, but to no avail. Their personal humility, financial transparency, and authentic sincerity ensured they emerged from each attack with their reputation intact and their popularity increased. In desperation, the New York Times and Wall Street Journal jointly called for a Democratic-Republican unity ticket to combat William's "Neo-pagan technocracy" that would undermine the two-party system that had provided political stability for over 200 years and usher in a new, repressive Dark Ages.

Crisis at the Convention
On July 4th, 2020 William was preparing to give the opening address at the Bull Moose Convention in Charleston, West Virginia when he was interrupted by an aide. A mysterious stranger claiming simply to be a "a friend of democracy" had given a USB stick to a security guard, then disappeared into the crowd. When the IT team carefully examined the contents, they turned out to be series of emails and documents outlining a devious plan to discredit William. The two main conspirators used fake email addresses and code names, but it was clear from the context that they were high-level operatives within the Republican and Democratic National Committees, working at the behest of their superiors. The central figure was someone they jokingly referred to as "The Lizard," which very much sounded like William's long-time nemesis Newt Gingrich.

Their plan was breathtaking in its scope and audacity. The objective was nothing less than convincing the American public that William was a repressed homosexual incapable of normal relationships with women, who was secretly trying to convert America from a liberal democracy to a totalitarian theocratic state modeled after the Abbasid Caliphate, with himself ruling in sybaritic Mohammed-style decadence as The Prophet. To support that objective, they had painstakingly compiled a comprehensive alternative history of data "proving" their claim, using out-of-context quotes from William himself and perjured testimonies from people who had known him; they even created a "shadow web" of government documents regarding actual homosexuals and right-wing extremists they could plausibly imply were linked to William. As a final stroke of brilliance, the conspirators identified sympathetic reporters and editors throughout America's major news organizations who had agreed to independently "uncover" the information in a carefully orchestrated schedule -- starting in they very middle of the speech William was scheduled to give in a few minutes.

The head of security was quickly alerted, who postponed the speech and immediately summoned William, Warner, and Elizabeth to an emergency meeting. Warner and Elizabeth were stunned speechless, but William was livid. Filled with righteous indignation, he headed towards the podium to disclose the conspiracy on live television and give both political parties and the media the roasting they so richly deserved.

The Mysterious Abigail
On his way to the stage, William was stopped by Abigail, a young intern who said she had just received an urgent and timely message from a friend who had been spying on Newt Gingrich. In the fire of his fury, William was tempted to shove past her, on the assumption that he already knew what she was going to reveal. However, his innate courtliness won out, and he paused to listen to what she had to say. And as he listened, the blood slowly drained from his face.

Because the conspiracy was actually far more subtle and closer to home than he could have imagined. According to Abigail, the USB stick was a sophisticated hoax carefully designed to prey on William's fears to provoke him into publicly fighting an enemy that didn't exist. None of the individuals named or alluded to were in any way involved, and the emails and government documents included were all sophisticated forgeries. If Williams had reacted to them, he would at best have looked ridiculous, and a worst utterly wrecked Warner's campaign by continually attempting to (falsely) prove that the whole world was conspiring against him.

Most devastating of all was her claim that the real mastermind behind all this was a former Radical Centrist colleague named Ernesto. A brilliant yet eccentric technologist, he had always been jealous of William. Though professing friendship, he avoided ever providing concrete help or introductions during the years William lived in poverty, and contrived to subtly sabotage every project they attempted to work on together. William had always attempted to be magnanimous, and even offered Ernesto a position at Saint-Simon University. Ernesto had soundly rejected the job, accusing William of living in a fantasy world and pursuing impossible plans rather than dealing with the real world. William had never heard from him since, despite repeated attempts to reach out and share his good fortune.

According to Abigail, Ernesto had since become obsessed with revenge against William for various imagined slights, and began prowling the dark corners of the Internet seeking evidence to support his increasingly paranoid delusions. After Warner become the 2020 front-runner, Ernesto saw his chance. He secretly contacted Gingrich, and negotiated $30 million in untraceable Bitcoin from him and his allies to "take down Williams." All interactions were conducted entirely in person, to avoid any electronic or paper trail that might provide evidence of the true conspiracy. Even if William had found out the truth after the fact, there was no way he could have convinced anyone to believe him.

Upon hearing all this, he sank into a chair with his head in his hands. When he looked up, Abigail was gone. Nobody else had seen her, nor did they ever find anyone with her name or likeness in their records.

The Confession
The crowd screamed wildly when William ascended the stage to give his long-delayed speech -- then slowly quieted as they saw the bleak expression on his face. In a flat monotone that contrasted strongly with his usual soaring rhetoric, he described the events of the past hour. The crowed gasped when they heard the contents of the USB stick, cheered when they heard his intention to lambast his enemies, and sat in stunned silence as they heard Abigail's revelations. They collectively held their breath when he finished, wondering what he would say next.

"Like many of you, I must confess I'm not sure what to believe. Did Abigail tell the truth?  Or was the first conspiracy real, and Abigail a last-minute attempt -- sincere or deceived -- to stop me from revealing it?  Some of my friends will probably think I made the whole thing up as an elaborate parable on the dangers of anger." He paused, while the crowd chuckled. "My enemies will agree, but claim I made it up to discredit true revelations about my character and intentions."

He paused again, and in the silence you could have heard a pin drop. But when he resumed, there was a trace of the old fire in his voice.

"You can believe what you want. Because at the end of the day, this isn't about me. It never was. I nearly lost sight of that, and in a moment of anger I might easily have destroyed everything I have spent my life building." William bowed his head, obviously in the grip of a powerful emotion, as the crowd murmured encouragement. He lifted his face, and the audience sighed in relief as they saw the familiar glint in his eyes. "This is not about me!" he roared, and the crowd went wild. "This was never about me! It was never about anger, or hate, or even about power.  It was always about love!"

William stopped to wipe tears from his eyes, or maybe just because he couldn't even hear himself over the joyous screams of the crowd. He waited until they had softened to a rolling thunder. “Don’t ever lose sight of love. Because that is the only advantage we have over our enemies. Make no mistake: our enemies will stop at nothing to destroy us. They have money. They have power. They have had centuries to hone their craft. They have institutions devoted to propagating their ungodly ideals. And they won’t hesitate a microsecond to use everything at their disposal to stop us from taking back our country.

”But the one thing they don’t have is love! They don’t love our country, they just want to use it to further their infernal agenda, to scratch some dark itch in their soul. They don’t care about people; people to them are just abstract ideas to be manipulated in the service of ideology. They don’t even love their friends; friends are just tools to be used then discarded when they become more trouble than they are worth. Just like their so-called ‘principles.’”

He paused, and crowd erupted in thunderous applause. He let it continue for a minute, then held up his hands. Everyone slowly quieter, then waited expectantly for him to speak.

He took a deep breath “But never let us make the mistake of assuming we are better than them, or immune to the temptations of power, corruption, and self-protection. Because the moment we do, our enemies will smell our weakness and use it to bring us down. As almost just happened to me.”

He lowered his gaze. The packed auditorium was as silent as church.

Then he looked up, and smiled. The crowd responded with enthusiastic hoots and hollers. “By the grace of God, our enemies failed. They are the ones who will be destroyed by their own fear, insecurity, and hubris. Today marks a new beginning for our country, and for democracy. Ladies and gentlemen, I both proud and humbled to introduce to  you Mark Warner, the next President of the United States of America!”