User:Drostinatorr/Lafora disease/Ethanstashek Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Drostinatorr


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Drostinatorr/Lafora_disease?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Lafora disease

Evaluate the drafted changes
Right off of the bat, I think there is good information within the article, but there are a few too many grammatical errors that need to be skimmed through. The overall tone of the proposed changes doesn't quite fit the neutral, scholarly writing style that wikipedia usually holds standard. To second on that, I looked at the source that is present on the page, and although a very good and in depth/lengthy source, there should definitely be a couple more sources for the amount of information present. I think if the proposed were to be added, that it would be flagged or taken down for not having a source. If it truly did all come from one source, it is always a good idea to get a secondary or even tertiary source to back any info up. Another note I would make is to clear up the work done in the article body. I think it is done well, and I especially like the graphs that were presented. However it felt like it was hard to follow - as if a lot of information was just dumped down and not thoroughly organized.