User:Dtzung/Arria Ly/Cliopentimento Peer Review

General info
Dtzung
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dtzung/Arria_Ly?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Impressive work on this draft! You've done an extraordinary job researching and writing this entry about a totally fascinating figure. My comments and edits below regard some of the content, but are mostly about language and wording. I'll make my edits in ALL CAPS BOLD below and sections that I've put in bold brackets [ ] I'm suggesting you delete. I'm copying & pasting the paragraphs where I think edits could be made.

I do think that you might want to re-organize the entry somewhat to flow a little more chronologically and to introduce more clearly her feminist thought. For instance, I think you might have a section about her campaign for celibacy that would allow you to flesh out those ideas, the influence of Catholicism on them, and her publications about them. As it is, that comes up in different pieces here and there in different sections, but it was hard for me to understand her ideas about that (which seems like one of her most important and unique contributions) until reading the whole thing. Just an idea.

Your group should also MANUALLY fill in the citations, rather than just providing the links.

One other question: when and why did she take on the name Arria Ly?

Be sure to hyperlink to all existing Wikipedia entries that relate to people/groups/events the first time they are mentioned in the entry.

My edits:

Arria Ly (pseudonym for Josephine Gondon; March 24, 1881 – December 19, 1934) was a successful journalist, writer, lecturer and radical French feminist in the early twentieth century. Ly, who was known for her aggressive and impassioned rhetoric style, popularized radical feminist ideas, conceptualizing virginal feminism and putting forth a robust antimarriage campaign. (I'd PUT "VIRGINAL FEMINISM" IN QUOTES SINCE THIS ISN'T A WELL-KNOWN BODY OF THOUGHT) She gained notoriety [beyond the Midi region of France] in the aftermath of the famous 1911 Ly-Massat affair. (THIS IS THE FIRST WE HEAR OF THE MIDI REGION. PERHAPS JUST WROTE "NATIONALLY IN FRANCE" AND EXPLAIN IN THE FIRST SECTION OF YOUR ENTRY WHERE SHE GREW UP AND LIVED)

Ly’s radical ideas about male-female sexual relations set her apart from the mainstream French feminist movement and generated significant controversy among both the public and her feminist peers. Ly's notoriety caused her to gain many nicknames, often being referred to as ‘Cadette de Gascogne’, the ‘Laic Nun’, and the ‘Pistol Virgin’. (PUT THESE NICKNAMES IN DOUBLE QUOTES LIKE "THIS")

Early Life
[In regard to Arria Ly’s early life,] (INSERT HERE WHERE AND WHEN SHE WAS BORN AND WHERE SHE GREW UP) Ly relished a lifestyle that was common to bourgeois girls of her time as she was a self-proclaimed atheist who went to a Catholic boarding school where her education placed an emphasis on sexual abstinence before marriage. (I'M CONFUSED ABOUT HER ATHEISM IF HER MOTHER WAS A CATHOLIC AS YOU LATER EXPLAIN AND HER WORK WAS ULTRA-CATHOLIC. EXPLAIN HERE IF SHE BECAME A CATHOLIC OR IF SHE WAS SIMPLY DEEPLY INFLUENCED BY CATHOLICISM WHILE REMAINING AN ATHEIST) It was not until she turned twenty-two that she she was first exposed to the physical realities of sex after having read an article by Avril de Sainte Croix LINK TO THIS ENTRY IF IT EXISTS on prostitution. Despite her religious education and sheltered familial upbringing, Ly recounts storming into her parent's room in a state of emotional distress, demanding clarification on the horrors of engaging in carnal activity through prostitution. [Nevertheless, a plethora of] MANY readers speculate that [regardless of Ly’s Catholic and sheltered upbringing,] the intensely emotional and personal tone she utilizes in her political arguments REGARDING SEX INDICATES THE LIKELIHOOD THAT SHE HERSELF MAY HAVE EXPERIENCED SEXUAL ABUSE [alluded to experience of abuse.]  (IS THIS WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY?)

Ly was actively involved in the feminist movements of the early twentieth century since her early life. In 1907, Ly established a local but influential feminist group named the “Combat Feministe” as a platform to voice her ideas on anti-marriage and sexual abstinence and to contribute to the female suffrage movement in France in support of the French Union for Women’s Suffrage. In 1909, alongside her mother, Ly founded a campaign to collect signatures for a petition in contribution to France’s female suffrage movement. In 1910, Ly represented herself as a Toulousain candidate for the French National Assembly. (THIS LAST SENTENCE SEEMS TO BELONG IN THE LEAD, NOT HERE, ESP SINCE YOU EXPLAIN THIS IN MORE MORE LATER)

Religious Influences
Many of Arria Ly’s writings and ideas were perceived to have a notably Catholic influence, largely attributable to her ultra-catholic upbringing. Ly’s mother was an ardent Catholic who was educated at a convent boarding school and sought to become a nun. By assuming sole responsibility for her daughter’s education, Ly’s mother passed on Catholic thinking and ideas about sexuality.

Ly’s readers readily picked up on Catholic influence in her writing. One journalist placed her hard-line rejection of sexual relations within the framework of Catholicism arguing that Ly’s ideas were not nearly as subversive as they appeared to be. Rather the journalist understood her views on celibacy to be a reaction to the cruelty of Catholic education and the tortuous ideas (VAGUE, NOT SURE WHAT THIS MEANS) that were passed along. Other members of the French public similarly linked Ly’s disdain for sexual relations to Catholicism and argued that although many of her ideas were too extreme to be widely palatable, many women resonated with her underlying message due to comparable Catholic upbringings. (I THINK YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN A LITTLE MORE HERE OR ABOVE ABOUT HOW SHE WAS FRAMING THE IDEAS OF CELIBACY AS RADICAL AND SUBVERSIVE, AND MORE ABOUT HER FEMINIST POLITICS SO THIS SECTION ABOUT HOW PEOPLE CHALLENGED THIS, AND SAID SHE WAS CONSERVATIVE, MAKES MORE SENSE. WAS SHE LINKING SEX TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE FOR EXAMPLE? BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THAT.)

Role in the French Feminist Movement
In comparison to the radical movements seen in the U.S. and England, French activism was widely considered to be relatively moderate. French feminists perceived the need to proceed with caution in the face of a beleaguered republican government. Throughout the early twentieth century, the French feminist movement was marked by an ongoing divide between feminists who upheld a femininity-centered approach to activism and those who did not. Commonly referred to as the equality versus difference debate, French women were concerned by the question of whether femininity and womanhood could be preserved, or if calls for equality necessarily demanded that women become more similar to men. Most mainstream feminists sought to counteract criticism that feminism represented an abandonment of womanhood and called for women to adopt masculine characteristics. (LIKE WHAT? THERE WERE PLENTY OF FEMINISTS ARGUING FOR WOMEN'S EQUALITY UNDER THE LAW WHO ALSO WANTED TO PRESERVE A DISTINCT SPHERE OF WOMANHOOD) However, Arria Ly and her close friend and colleague Madeleine Pelletier stood out as feminists who rejected the femininity-centered approach. THOUGH SHE WAS SEEKING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN BY URGING THEM TO ABSTAIN FROM MARRIAGE, NO?

Ly’s campaigns against male-female sexual relations and marriage can be understood as a radical response to the ideas perpetuated by the cult of womanhood, popular in France in the 1870s. Grounded in public perceptions of France’s need to compete socially and economically with other industrialized countries, the cult emphasized women’s responsibility to devote all of their energies to the task of creating and raising France’s next generation. Seeking an alternative, Ly put forth permanent virginity as an avenue through which to provide sexual and political autonomy for women. (OK, THIS IS HELPFUL IN UNPACKING HER IDEAS MORE. I'D THINK ABOUT REORGANIZING THINGS A BIT SO YOU TELL YOUR READER MORE ABOUT THE SUBSTANCE OF HER IDEAS EARLIER)

Antimarriage campaign
As part of her emphasis on the need for female autonomy, Ly portrayed marriage as a method for degrading women’s legal status to that of a minor and argued that it was necessary for women to reject the constraints imposed by marriage. '''UNDER FRENCH LAW DID WOMEN LOSE THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS UPON MARRIAGE? EXPLAIN A BIT MORE''' Ly often launched harsh criticism against married women arguing that their marriage is evidence of their failure to resist the temptation of men and the finality of their loss of virtue. At times, she did express sympathy for the women forced into marriages by social and familial pressures, however, in general, her writings drew uncompromising distinctions between the sacred nature of virginity and the sullied nature of married women.

Sexual abstinence
Arria Ly’s views on sexual relations differed sharply from those of mainstream feminists. She advocated for women’s unconditional celibacy and upheld permanent virginity as the only way for women to liberate themselves from inherent abasement of male-female sexual acts and prevent the degradation of their purity.

Relationship with Madeleine Pelletier
Arria Ly and Madeleine Pelletier '''WHO BECAME GOOD FRIENDS? (WHEN?)''' were frequently distinguished from the mainstream French feminists of the early twentieth century, recognized for their more radical views. The two women frequently sent letters to one another, sharing ideas and providing advice.

Pelletier was known for her controversial rejection of femininity and interconnected push for gender sameness. ("INTERCONNECTED PUSH FOR GENDER SAMENESS" IS VAGUE) In 1933, she published a book, La Femme vierge, in which she argued for women to abandon all of their conventional feminine characteristics and instead adopt masculinity. (MASCULINITY DEFINED HOW? WHAT DID SHE WANT WOMEN TO DO OR BE IN ORDER TO BE MASCULINE?) In a letter to Pelletier, Ly objected to this position. Ly argued that femininity has inherent value separate from the male and posited that for women to adopt masculine characteristics is to admit that the male is superior to the female.

Despite the radical nature of their feminist ideas, Madeleine Pelletier and Arria Ly were not particularly progressive in their attitudes toward lesbian women. Ly and other radical feminists were concerned that BEING ASSOCIATED WITH LESBIANS WOULD WEAKEN ACCEPTANCE OF THEIR OWN IDEASE GIVEN THE public disdain for lesbians [would weaken acceptance of their own ideas]. As a result, they avoided all association with lesbians and characterized them as the enemies of heterosexual women.

Involvement in politics
Arria Ly was one of eight women who declared their candidacy for legislative office in the elections held in the spring of 1910. Ly who was running in Toulouse was accompanied by women such as Madeleine Pelletier, running in Paris, and Elisabeth Renaud, running for the l’Isère seat). Leaders of the Union Française pour le Suffrage des Femmes (UFSF), Jeanne Schmahl and Marguerite Durand, were also running in the elections. The UFSF, an organization closely affiliated with the International Woman Suffrage Alliance, was founded by Schmahl in 1909 to fight for women’s right to vote in municipal and regional elections.

Their decision to run was criticized by other feminists. At a public meeting in March of 1910, which brough BROUGHT together five pro-suffrage organizations, one of the speakers, Hubertine Auclert, argued that the actions of Ly and the other women, especially the leaders of the UFSF, were hindering the unification of the feminist movement.

Published Works
In 1902, Ly began writing and publishing articles arguing for unconditional celibacy as an important part of the feminist movement. In 1905, she published an article “Restons Mademoiselle” in La Femme affranchie. WHICH DID/ARGUED WHAT? Six years later, in June of 1911, she published her most controversial and famous article “Vive ‘Mademoiselle!’” which built upon previous arguments by tying unconditional celibacy to the need for female autonomy and specifically pinpointing virginity as the highest honor for feminism.

From 1904 to 1911, Ly engaged in frequent communication with other prominent French feminists to discuss questions surrounding sexual ideals and practices. Ly used this feedback to continually revise and polish her doctrine, up until publication of “Vive ‘Mademoiselle!’”. During this time, Ly came to understand that her ideas separated her from mainstream feminists and, in the article, she specifically acknowledged her failure to rally other French women around the promise of unconditional celibacy.

'''THIS IS ONE OF THE SECTIONS WHERE I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HER CELIBACY CAMPAIGN EARLIER IN THE ENTRY. I SUGGEST YOU THINK ABOUT REORGANIZING SO YOU CAN EXPLAIN VERY CLEARLY WHAT THESE PIECES OF WRITING ARGUED AND FLESH OUT HER IDEAS MORE CLEARLY.'''

Ly’s article “Vive ‘Mademoiselle!’” was inspired by debates, popular in the fall of 1910, surrounding whether the term Madame should be used to refer to both single and married women, rather than continuing to distinguish between the two. Looking to mitigate continued stigmatization of unmarried women, the majority of the public favored applying the term Madame to all women. Ly sought to launch herself into this debate with her term ‘Mademoiselle’ which she used to encompass the need for single women to retain their independence and purity by refraining from both marriage and all sexual relations with men. However, because her argument did not only uphold the virginity and the purity of single women but also characterized wives as besmirched women, akin to prostitutes, she received heavy criticism for her article.

In 1913, Ly founded her own, albeit short-lived, newspaper, Le Combat féministe, organe du mouvement féministe arrilyst, in which she reinforced the ideas voiced in “Vive ‘Mademoiselle!’” and declared war on male-female sexual intercourse. DO YOU HAVE ANY INFO ON HOW SHE FUNDED A NEWSPAPER?

The context
After publication of Ly’s article “Vive Mademoiselle” in June 1911, the article was later reprinted in Le Rappel de Toulouse. Her article was published alongside a letter written by journalist Louis Casalé which suggested that Ly’s arguments for unconditional celibacy served as evidence of her lesbianism. Casalé's writing, originally published in the Toulouse Reporter, a radical-socialist newspaper, attributed the extreme nature of Ly's call for celibacy to her own corrupted personality. Casalé argued that Ly harbored a hatred for men because they were never interested in her and in turn BECAME A LESBIAN [switched to lesbianism]. In response, Ly accused Prudent Massat, the editor-in-chief of the French newspaper, of violating her honor. She took the incident as an opportunity to reject the male-centric belle époque code of honor, challenging Massat to a duel.

Rebellion against the male-centric belle époque code of honor
In the 19th and early twentieth centuries, the male-centric code of honor and the ideas put forth by the middle-class feminist movement were at odds with one another. Women were excluded from the code of honor and associated practices, such as the duel, due to general acceptance of physiological differences between men and women. Perpetuation of notions of physiological differences relied upon public perceptions of the male physique and men’s capacity for physical violence. Because the code of honor barred women from physically defending their own honor, the responsibility fell to male family members. Concerns surrounding a woman’s honor were almost always tied only to her sexual virtue.

Arria Ly actively opposed the popular characterizations of women as fragile beings, incapable of forming their own opinions and defending themselves. She understood the need to divert attention away from the female body and therefore focused her portrayal of femininity on personal autonomy and free agency rather than biological functions. In her stance on virginity, for example, Ly emphasized that engaging in sexual relations with men barred women from achieving psychological independence, allowing for a woman’s sexual reputation to determine her honor.

In the Ly-Massat affair, Ly’s actions demonstrated the potential for women to successfully violate the belle époque honor code and defend their public honor. After Ly accused Massat of attacking her honor and publicly challenged him to a duel, Massat refused and organized a public rally to oppose her antimarriage stance. Ly then responded by showing up at the Toulousain meeting hall and directly confronting Massat. In front of the more than one thousand people in attendance at the meeting, Ly slapped Massat across the face. News of her aggressive public actions reached audiences far beyond the Southern Region of France, receiving coverage from both Parisian and Midi newspapers. In line with the code of honor, Ly’s direct confrontation forced Massat to engage. He responded with a public letter of apology, distributed in Toulousian newspapers. '''EXPLAIN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS APOLOGY. HE APOLOGIZED FOR WHAT?'''

At some point during the conflict, Massat suggested that Ly enlist a man to step in for her on the dueling field. Ly responded to this suggestion by flipping the honor code’s notions of masculinity on Massat, arguing that he did not possess the bravery to settle their dispute on the dueling field. In a statement published in a democratic Toulousian newspaper, she suggested that because Massat understood her to be a formidable opponent, he was too scared to face her directly. Furthermore, she argued that his suggestion to enlist the help of a man was rooted in his understanding that a proud feminist, like herself, would never make such a concession and it was therefore a tactic to avoid confronting her entirely. '''TRY TO MOVE THIS PARAGRAPH UP INTO THE PROPER CHRONOLOGY. IT'S A LITTLE ODD TO READ ABOUT THIS AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF THE CONFLICT IN THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH.'''

Responses to the Ly-Massat affair
Arria Ly’s rejection of the belle époque code of honor in the Ly-Massat affair sparked broader debates about the gendered nature of the honor code. Her actions inspired efforts to reshape concepts of female honor, no longer allowing a woman’s honor to be rooted only in motherhood and sexual virtue. Instead, many French women hoped to put forth a gender-neutral code of honor.

At the summer of 1911 Toulousian town hall meeting, during which Ly directly confronted Massat, there was significant variety in the audience responses. One attendee, Monsieur Lux, challenged Massat’s position arguing that his response to Ly’s article should have focused on crafting reasonable counter arguments rather than targeting Ly personally and attacking her sexual virtue. Although Lux directly stated that he did not personally agree with Ly’s stances on marriage and abstinence, he expressed support for her efforts to infiltrate the male honor system. His challenges were seconded by women in the audience who demanded to know why Massat thought it appropriate to launch personal attacks against Ly.

The Ly-Massat affair, which established Ly as a celebrity of the French feminist movement, resonated particularly strongly with the many women in early twentieth century France who were working to create opportunities for themselves in traditionally male-dominated professions. Other mainstream feminists upheld Massat’s apology as a victory for female writers who were frequently insulted by their male colleagues in the press, and traditionally lacked avenues through which to defend themselves.

Responses from French publications
In the early twentieth century, the French press, which was primarily concerned with upholding the honor of journalism as a field and repudiating the common twentieth century characterizations of reporters as mudslingers. (THIS IS NOT A COMPLETE SENTENCE. DELITE THE WORD "WHICH" AND IT WILL BE)

In line with these efforts, many French publications responded to the Ly-Massat affair by supporting Ly’s defense of her right to journalistic integrity. Agreeing with the statements made by Monsieur Lux, some publications argued that both Massat and Casalé failed to meet the journalistic standard of responding directly to the arguments made in Ly’s article rather than engaging in personal attacks. Some Conservative publications used the affair to comment more generally on the ways in which the gendered nature of the honor code grated against republican values and practices. Other publications focused their attention on Ly’s attacks on Massat’s masculinity. One republican Parisian newspaper, for example, derided Massat for his antiquated reliance on notions of male bravery in his refusal to confront Ly. Leftist publication, L’excelsior pointed to Ly’s courage and supported her right to defend herself in a duel.

In the context of concerns about population growth
Concerns about the population problem in the early twentieth century France were influential in shaping the French feminist movement and the public’s response to Ly’s urge for lifelong celibacy. Feminism came to be deeply intertwined with depopulation concerns (WHEN? AFTER THE FIRST WORLD WAR?) and the growth of French nationalism as all three issues demanded action from the French government. Depopulation concerns caused many members of the public to interpret Ly’s position as being potentially treasonous. Additionally, Ly’s position combined with broader anxieties about the feminist movement and the potential decline of the motherhood model, amplifying the threat perceived by the public. Even other radical feminists, such as Madeleine Pelletier, labelled her arguments as unreasonable. The positions of mainstream feminists on sex and reproduction reflected their high level of concern for addressing the population problem and providing for France’s future. Unlike Ly, mainstream feminists focused their arguments on the importance of mutual fidelity in marriages. They argued that married men should have to restrain their sexual impulses in the same way that married women are expected to rather than satisfying their desires by regularly engaging in sexual activity with prostitutes. '''THIS LAST SECTION SEEMS TO HAVE LESS TO DO WITH THE LY-MASSAT AFFAIR AND MORE TO DO WITH HER IDEAS, RIGHT? DOES THIS SECTION BELONG HERE OR ELSEWHERE?'''

Legal Issues
Ly made an appearance in the media when she stood trial for shooting a doctor who allegedly killed her father due to mistreatment. (WHEN? AND WHEN DID HER FATHER DIE?) She was acquitted of the crime, however this incident caused the press to speculate regarding Ly’s use of firearms. AGAIN DOES THIS BELONG IN THE LY-MASSAT SECTION?

Legacy
Ly’s ideas are unique in their seamless intertwining of concerns related to the self, sex and politics. Although her conceptualization of virginal feminism (THIS TERM IS NEVER DEFINED. IS IT HER TERM? OR A SCHOLAR'S TERM? NECESSARY TO EXPLAIN IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE IT) and her arguments against marriage were not well received in the context of France’s population problem, her radical stances and aggressive behavior in the Ly-Massat affair distinguished her from mainstream feminists and sparked broader debates and highlighted fears surounding SURROUNDING the growth of a population of unwed middle-class women in POSTWAR? France.

I'D MOVE THE SECTION ON HER LEGACY AFTER THE SECTION ON HER DEATH

Death
Ly died on December 19, 1934. Ly, who was 53 years old at the time, lost her mother in April of 1934. As that loss weighed on her, she informed several close confidants of her intention to kill herself. In preparation, she compiled all of her writings and asked friends to help publish them after her death. (DID THEY PUBLISH HER WORK POSTHUMOUSLY?) Her first attempt to kill herself was unsuccessful after being pulled from the freezing cold water of the Baltic Sea by a passerby. Ly had jumped into the water carrying her mother 's ashes on October 31, 1934. Ly’s second and final attempt came immediately after she was discharged from the hospital. Carrying her mothers ashes, she jumped from a 16-story building in Stockholm and fell to her death.