User:Dudu120/Environmental health/BartHarleyJarvis Peer Review

Peer Review on "Interrelationships between Evolution, Diet, and Genes":

Good job on this! Overall, I found your article very interesting and informative, however, you need to add in-text citations to much of the body of your article, as so many of the claims you make are heavily debated, particularly those regarding nutrition, so those sections need to have a ton of referencing, otherwise it might feel like a persuasive paper. Also regarding sources, some more current sources could be helpful, such as within the past 5-10 years. Otherwise, possibly restructuring the body of your paper could be helpful, as some paragraphs flow into the next, while others had me a little lost.

Is your first section your lead section? If so, it does throw a lot at the reader in terms of a summary, which I would shorten. However, if it's not your lead section, I think it's good, but the main suggestion I have would be to be more concise in your writing, as it did feel a little repetitive, but still very informative. In that section, I also left some suggestions as invisible comments, as well as other minor grammatical edits. Throughout the article, I left similar edits and comments, while suggesting you condense portions of the other sections in your article. I also requested for you to provide more clarification or to rephrase certain statements for better understanding from your audience.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Dudu120


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Dudu120/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)