User:Dumbdrums

King Michael Brownstein the 7th
Michael Brownstein the 7th was the first King of Scilonia,Latvia to be born not only with webbed feet but genetalia shaped like fleshy horseshoes. His father Michael the 6th, was a man who lead many a battle on the You Dont Know How It Fields against the tyranical General Thomas Petty and his Army Of Heartbreakers.In the year 1610, He birthed his only son, and heir to the throne, through his own Vagina, while fighting the Armies of Petty on the Gar Fields. He cut the Umbilical chord on the field of battle, cut the cheese, and then died, leaving the infant to defeat 28,000 Persians with nothing but a Morning Star he fashioned out of umbilical cord and an Ipod. The baby who would be King returned to a heroes welcome in Scilonia. He immediately became revered by his people.They loved their king and burped him 3 or 4 times a day. He ordered half of his military to death with but a hand gesture to his head. Unfortunately it was an ear infection that he was trying to scratch. As the "baby who would be a boy" grew, he loved to watch the chambers orchestra play all their brass instruments.At 4 years old, Michael the 7ths love for music blossomed, and his fetish for toddler porn diminished.He summoned the greatest Iron Smiths to craft him an instrument that would be unique like non other.He summoned his wizard to create "electricity" to power such an amazing tool. He then found a half dozen 5 year old chicks to fawn all over him. He fondly called them Groupies. At 5 years old he had it all, a kingdom, servants,chicks, one of those wacky catapults, and his new magical music machine. He summoned his Wizard to make a box that would blast out the sound of the new machine.He wanted to call it "Giant box of wire and steel that is loud as hell", but at the lithographers request he named it "AMP"so at the young age of 5 he hit the road with a new promising young act called the Rolling Stones He traveled the country spreading peace and crabs rather than death and war..Somewhere along the way, he ran into the Devil..and the devil said, "Are you Charlie Daniels?" and the boy said no, so the devil apologized for the inconvieniance, smoked a bowl with the 7th and kept moving.So for many years Michael the 7th rocked Europe and was revered as the greatest King ever...well except Elvis...