User:Duponts2/sandbox

Wikipedia Final Edit/Draft of GSHH Hip Hop Feminism Page

Hip Hop Feminism and the Elements

Graffiti is generally regarded as an element of hip hop. Graffiti as a subculture is one that has overlapped with hip hop feminism. Though women actively participate in the graffiti subculture, they are often underrepresented. Graffiti gives female writers the opportunity to demonstrate the importance of community and claiming space in a visual way through their work which ties back to the role that hip hop plays in society, particularly for female writers.

Female writers such as Utah have generated national and worldwide attention to graffiti writing in urban spaces. Though a controversial figure, Danielle "Utah" Bremner's work was featured in the Beastie Boys "Ch-Check it Out" music video that was circulated across MTV. Bremner also successfully painted on various MTA trains throughout New York City which led to her arrest in 2008. Bremner is an example of the way that hip hop feminism creates space for women in male dominated spaces.

Feminist Activism in Hip Hop Review

'''Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you?'''

I think the section about Hip Hop Feminism is too long and a little confusing because it's just a recap of everything that's on that wiki page. I think that Hip Hop Feminism should be referenced in the intro of the page and linked to the page itself, but I don't think that it should have its own section as long as it is on the Feminist Activism Page in Hip Hop.


 * Is the article neutral? Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * The general tone sounds a little opinionated, especially because it uses language like "the best example" or uses quotations from scholars rather than a general summary or reference to their article.
 * there are claims in the introduction that aren't supported by any citations.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * The section on feminism in hip hop music is really long compared to every other section which makes me think it should be its own page, potentially, or maybe some parts can be removed. Also, the introduction says that feminist activism has grounds in graffiti, break dancing, hip hop music, and rap but there is no individual section about rap, and the wiki page does not follow this order.
 * Saying that feminism only applies to females in the industry doesn't make sense in the context of this article because it talks about activism in hip hop music that applies to male artists, yet the first sentence contradicts that follows throughout the rest of the article.   All in all, I agree with what has been said throughout the talk page for this article as far as merging it with the Hip Hop Feminism page and the other criticisms because it's a bit messy and needs a lot of revision.