User:Durbin315

Beeches Baptist Cell Group kills monkeys and has 35 members making it the largest cell group in the world apart from that one in the Antarctic. The oldest member, Rosie, is 100 years old and recently received her letter from the Queen. No one would know her real age though: she looks 13 because she has pioneered a secret recipe for anti-wrinkle cream, though she was seen with crutches so that gave away a clue to her age.

The cell meets every Wednesday (apart from during the school holidays) to socialize, build robots that fly to the moon, raise money for charity and to think about the way Jesus wants us to live. The cell begins at 6am, carries on all day and night before finishing at 8pm the next day. Some may think that 38 hours is a long time for a group to meet, but it goes by REALLY quickly, and is vital for deep friendships to be formed.

The attendees play many games each week which are designed to tire them out so that they fall asleep. They haven't yet done this. The leaders, Alice, Ellie and Dave, will try harder until they do. Slowly their resilience will be broken down as sleeping gas is pumped into the church youth room.

Every term there is at least one social which include somersaulting down Mount Everest and kick boxing pandas. Most recently the cell group went to meet a rabbit whose saliva is used to make cement. The cement set around Howard's legs and he couldn't move until Thumper from Bambi had pounded the floor with his big rabbit foot.