User:DylanRoh/Tobias Harris/Mketter Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

DylanRoh


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Article Draft


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tobias Harris

Evaluate the drafted changes
I really like the article very well informed and well written. I would like to point out something minor was that the spacing between your evidence and your sources besides number 4. The number should be right next to the quote you are stating. Also I don't know if it is just me but I think when I was reading what you wrote I think that you use Harris or Tobias to much throughout your draft when talking about him. I feel like every sentence I was saying Harris or Tobias most of the time so I would try to lower the amount of times you say his name. Also In the draft there are some sentences that seem almost too short to be sentences like the sentence "Harris won this award again in October of 2021." Seems too short to be on its own like it is just their and kind of just floating in away so maybe finding a way to add it to another sentence or expanding on that more could help make it fit better in to the article.