User:Dylandubay1/Plant embryonic development/KaylaT3210 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

DylanDubay1


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Dylandubay1/Plant embryonic development


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Plant embryonic development

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

I like the lead in for your Embryonic development in monocots section! Overall, enough information is added so that your additions aren't jarring.

Content

For the two cell stage edit, I think that it's a good addition to the section, but I'm having trouble understanding what the sentence means. Is there a way to explain the importance of the apical cell division occurring rapidly to become the embryo?

add monocotyledons wiki page to your sentence!

Embryonic dev in monocots

For the development section, some of the stages that you mention do not have a source.

Overall, I like what you will be adding to the article. It's unique and gives an example of what plant embryonic development would look like. I think that while it is interesting, maybe a bit of a lead explaining into the the development in monocots would be beneficial (was this one of the first plants to have all stages mapped out? Does this explain a good proportion of plant development?) Why would the addition of monocot's embryonic development be more important than others?

Tone and Balance

Great tone! Very neutral. Doesn't feel as if there's any interpretation in the article. Just good ol science. Sources and References

For the development section, some of the stages that you mention do not have a source.

appreciate that you bolded what you wanted to add specifically. However, if you're adding edits, I don't think you can copy directly from the wiki page. Just make a note for each section saying "adding to the end of the paragraph: 'bla bla bla'". If you copy and paste from the wiki page you're adding to, it's plagiarism... and it makes it kind of hard to review...

For the last paragraph that is bolded in your sandbox, I think since there's only one citation being used, you can only source it once at the end of the paragraph.

Overall

I like what you will be adding! Good amount of information is added and would be a perfect addition for the article! I think that what you have is pretty solid, and the amount of sources you're using for it is the perfect amount. I would recommend stating the importance of focusing on the embryonic development in monocots or it might seem like a useless addition.

Response to Peer Edit: I really appreciate this feedback! I am glad that my neutral tone has come across in my writing, and the content is concise. I am going to reconsider added to some of the pre-existing paragraphs, as I don't think they are as important as talking about monocot development (as it something that has not been written about in the article.) I will need to go back through and make sure to cite anything that had not been cited, as I left a few out by accident. I think my next steps are refining my explanations so they are more sound. I also like your suggestion about talking about the importance of monocot development, as it is really important since many monocots are important food and energy crops, such as Zea mays (Corn). Thank you for the input!