User:Dylanlaurie43/sandbox

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In 2002, Eminem heard Jackson's Guess Who's Back? CD, received from Jackson's attorney (who was working with Eminem's manager, Paul Rosenberg).[1] Impressed, Eminem invited Jackson to fly to Los Angeles and introduced him to Dr. Dre.[2][3][1] After signing a $1 million record deal,[3] Jackson released No Mercy, No Fear. The mixtape featured one new track, "Wanksta", which appeared on Eminem's 8 Mile soundtrack.[4] Jackson was also signed by Chris Lighty's Violator Management and Sha Money XL's Money Management Group.[citation needed]"

Article: 50 Cent

Ready, Player One is a novel by Earnest Cline

50 Cent Worth a Million to Dr. Dre and Eminem is an article by Shaheem Reid

Wikipedia Article Draft
Hazleton Area School District

I already edited the article once, but I do not believe it is enough. This article is a stub article, and it should not be due to its importance in the area. It has a lot of good information, but the article itself has little to no citations. With the citations done, it can jump from a stub into grades articles and can make it a legitimate article. On the other hand, I think the category “Career Center” can be changed around and make it into a very informational piece for the reader. Also, the article contains mostly of bad statistics, like the percentage of poor people, but I did not read that the Hazleton Area School District has the best AP Calculus class in the state and nationally recognized. It is not all about the facts that hurt the school district, it is also the information that makes it a good district, and with that I believe this article will be changed once I am done.

The Hazleton Area High School was created 26 years ago, or September 2, 1992. The Hazleton Area School district consisted of various High Schools, such as Freeland, Bishop Haffey, and Hazleton. It first began when the school athletics combined to create one team, the Hazleton Area Cougars. Since 1992, The Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics school has opened, in 2013. Also, with innovative ways to improve education, the Career Center has evolved, with regular college prep courses available to take inside the Career Center, rather than walking to the High School as often. The combine has improved academic success, which was the main reason to do so. Historically, the combine was known across the state instantly.

In the 1992-1993 basketball season, the Hazleton Area Cougars made a State tournament final run, making history. This athletic success drove Hazleton Area instantly, as students from all the previous high schools now become united because of the success of the basketball team. 26 years later, the Boys 2017-2018 season has made the same noise as they reached the Final Four in the State Tournament (Subject to change due to still in Progress).

In 1999, the newly elected Lou Barletta had a clear vision of Hazleton. Lou Barletta advertised Hazleton, with poster boards in New York and Philadelphia, which dramatically changed the population. Due to the Population change, ever since 2000, the class population grew to approximately 700-900 students per grade.

Peer review by grant
Its typed in wiki format so that's nice to see no opinions and in third person. Some ideas are maybe if there is a sports hall fame maybe talk about that I know I had one at my high school. Its cool how your doing it on your old high school shows that you still like to stick to your roots. Another is maybe talk about other sports besides basketball, also talk about clubs and other activities that go on there. Talking about teachers and past principals could be a good idea as well. When you say that combing schools is there facts for that or is it just your opinion. You could talk the other schools that came together to make the school and why they all came together. Overall pretty nice job on the article draft last thing I have to say is just keep looking for references.

Peer review by Jake
You have a lot of good information in your article. You need to have your citations added to the article. It is good that you found information that was not in the article about the basketball team and the stem program. it is interesting that Lou Barletta advertised the school and grew. you should add who she is because you just said newly elect and I'm a little confused on what she was elected to do. Also when you are talking about the basketball team you may want to word it different because it sounds like you are talking from the point of view of someone who may have attended the high school. Also you should when you are talking about the schools that came together to make up this school district you should include every school, you just various high schools such as.

Feedback from Dr. Vetter: Hi Dylan, there's a lot of information in this article, but that doesn't necessarily mean it can't be developed and revised further. I am confused though by what you mean when you say that the article itself "has little to no citations" - because I noticed 230 references. Even in-text citations seem to be prevalent in the article. Let's talk about this more during our conference. I think the next step for you is going to be working through your sources to find out what information could be added to the article at hand. I would encourage you to look at other articles on school districts (especially ones that are well-developed) for examples of sources, types of information, and section headings (structure). Good start on this! - Dr. Vetter

Peer Review by Morgan Ward
Peer Review by Morgan Ward As I was reading your article I noticed a few things. I noticed that there were a few grammar mistakes, but thats the whole reason of a rough draft. There are a few run on sentences. The other thing I noticed was some of the information seems a little backwards, in my opinion I think that your last paragraph should be added to the top of your article. I think this because your last paragraph is a great way to start out the article. Another thing was the length of the article, it is missing a few words but that could be fixed in time. There was one more thing that I noticed, when you were referring to the 3 new high schools, the words "high school"' wasn't written after the school name, and that may be confusing too some readers. I think you have a strong article if you continue to look for sources, and more history information of the school. Your article seems on the right track!