User:EGS009/Evolution of cells/Saw041 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

EGS009


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:EGS009/Evolution_of_cells?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Evolution of cells

Evaluate the drafted changes
Q: Where do you plan to place this section in the article?

"the movement of genetic information between different organisms that occur mainly in bacteria that affects animals or plants" is a very long and confusing sentence missing some needed punctuation. I recommend rearranging this sentence to "is the movement of genetic information between different organisms, typically occurring through bacteria". You don't need to add that it affects plants and animals because they both fall under the category "organisms".

"Once one of these mechanisms has occurred the bacteria will continue to multiply and grow resistance and evolve by natural selection" sounds a little of grammatically, I would maybe try "continue to multiply and grow resistance, evolving through natural selection".

Otherwise your article sounds neutral and up to date. I would just recommend citing your articles the Wiki way instead of how you would in an essay. You could also find more sources on the subject so it doesn't look like you are just citing 1 source or maybe adding a picture/diagram that represents the process could be help as well.