User:ENOZIW/Gender discrimination during Hong Kong protest/CGstarecu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Liana - Lianawongg


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lianawongg/Gender_discrimination_during_Hong_Kong_protest?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Upon taking my first look at this article, I saw that there's a notification saying that there needs to be a lead sentence, so it would be good to add that into the lead paragraph. The article starts out okay, and the lead works well, but it starts rather abruptly, and I think that's why the note at the top is there.

Content

The content added is very relevant, and also up to date. It deals with gender discrimination, and it deals with gender discrimination from a non-white perspective, which can be quite important these days.

Tone and Balance

The tone of the content is very neutral, and manages to not delve into heavy emotion, even though it is a really emotionally heavy subject. The addition of the viewpoints of the people affected felt like a very meaningful and important addition to the article as well.

Sources and References

The sources are very current, most of them being from this year. All of them are from the past couple of years. Considering the nature of this article, I think it could be a bit difficult to find sources beyond news coverage, but the current articles used provide a lot of information that seems to be reputable.

Organization

The content added is written fairly well, and very clear on what it is talking about. The addition of specific known cases is a great addition too, as it helps provide information to add to the article and helps get word out about these cases. There are some grammatical errors (like "attacking one of the polices" could be "attacking one of the police officers"), but for the most part it is very readable.

Overall impressions

This would certainly be a very challenging subject to write about, and I'm glad it's being written about. It's a very important topic for people to learn about. This article is very thorough in going over information and expressing it. It definitely connects to our course very closely, in talking about gender discrimination, and is very relevant as it is a recent event.