User:Eaheller13/Language deprivation in deaf and hard of hearing children/Qal19999 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Eaheller13


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Eaheller13/Language deprivation in deaf and hard of hearing children


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi, Quinn here peer reviewing your article! All your information was super relevant and interesting, and I thought it was well organized. To me it reads more like an essay and I do think the tone needs to be sort of 'wikipedia'-ized. Make sure you are only making claims directly supported by your source. For example: Instead of "Studies such as this reveal..." I would say "THIS study reveals..." Or for a sentence like "hearing parents not knowing how to support their child," I would either source that or delete it. Although I absolutely agree with what you're saying, I know wiki wants as neutral a tone as possible. You may also want to either avoid more subjective terms or define them -- for example, when you say "high quality visual language, what constitutes high quality? Also avoiding argumentative language like "cannot be emphasized enough."

I think it is really well organized, I would not change anything about the structure of it, it flows really nicely. I would suggest sourcing more of your information in the Incidental Learning and Language Modality sections. For example with "Modern research supports bilingual language development," what research? That would be a great source. Also I'm sure you already know this, but some of your in-text citations do not link properly. These were just some things that came to mind as I was reading, I think this is looking really strong! Fantastic page so far! Qal19999 (talk) 00:15, 29 March 2021 (UTC