User:Eanneyrey/Open relationship/FranklinLu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Eanneyray


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Eanneyrey/Open_relationship?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Open relationship

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Ean, this is my peer review on your draft.

Lead

 * I don't think the lead applies here since you're adding onto a preexisting Wikipedia article instead of creating a new one, and you're not editing the lead with these changes which is totally fine.

Content

 * The content you added is very relevant to the topic.
 * You made sure that the content in the article is up-to-date; I really liked that you recognized it and deleted previous statistics that were no longer true.
 * For the first bullet point under Sexually transmitted infection, I think that the content is fine to add, but I'm not completely sure it should go under Sexually transmitted infection. Adding it right at the end of that section does make some sense though, since it builds off of the statistic written by the previous editor. You might consider creating a new section of content for this; you could explore this topic even more and add to this new section.
 * Your topic addresses the equity gap somewhat by mentioning a statistic regarding open relationships and the LGBT community, which is a historically underrepresented population, though it does not mention it too many times. You also addressed the outdated gap between men and women being able to compartmentalize. I'm glad you spotted this and removed it since it wasn't even cited.
 * When you say "I think a reason is that partners (mainly gay men or women) may not be sexually compatible and need someone else to fulfill their needs (two bottoms in a relationship)," the reasoning is good but I would HIGHLY suggest, if not require, you to find a source that can support this assertion.
 * You could also discuss open relationships and their relations to different groups (like religious groups, i.e. Mormons) and how it's viewed by these groups.

Tone and Balance

 * The tone you used in the "ADD" seems perfectly neutral to me (obviously your notes-to-self are not, but you're not adding those to the article anyway).
 * You represent multiple viewpoints well, although I do think you should change "It has been found that individuals in open relationships report less jealousy compared to those in monogamous relationships" to "Some research has found that individuals in open relationships report less jealousy compared to those in monogamous relationships." This makes it more neutral, rather than definitively citing it as fact.
 * It's also great that you added to both reasons for AND avoiding an open relationship, as it is important to address both of these topics for people to understand.

Sources and References

 * All of your sources are sources that are documented within academic journals and studies, which is fantastic.
 * Your sources are thorough and are related to the topic at hand.
 * Your sources are current (all from the 2010s), meaning that you don't provide heavily outdated information.
 * I don't know who the authors are on a personal level, but the authors of each of your citations seem at first glance like a diverse group of people.
 * The sources you've used are overall great and I don't know if there are any better sources available, though I'd have to do more research on this.

Organization

 * Your new content is easy to digest and is formatted and worded correctly to me.
 * You should also consider putting "INSERT BETWEEN HERE It has been found that individuals in open relationships report less jealousy compared to those in monogamous relationships" at the end of the bullet point, since the sentence directly after it (These emotions can also lead to greater self-awareness which may be seen as satisfying to those in open relationships") talks about emotions which are defined by the very first sentence of this bullet point. This helps ease the transition between information.
 * It would look like this:
 * "Open relationships may create a sense of jealousy, attachment, or possessiveness, all of which are challenges for a relationship to work through." "These emotions can also lead to greater self-awareness which may be seen as satisfying to those in open relationships." It has been found that individuals in open relationships report less jealousy compared to those in monogamous relationships.
 * I cannot find any grammatical or spelling errors.

Overall impressions

 * The content you added and removed has definitely improved the quality of the article.


 * You provided extremely relevant and up-to-date information while removing information that was both outdated and had no studies or citations to back it up.
 * I think you could find more content to add regarding open relationships, such as condom usage and STIs.
 * The content you're researching about threesomes and orgies is interesting and fits with the topic very well; it would be wise to research more on that.
 * Very good job overall! I can't wait to see the changes to the article!