User:Earthboundsunseeker/National Patriotic Front of Liberia/JSCC3412 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Earthboundsunseeker


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * National Patriotic Front of Liberia Sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * National Patriotic Front of Liberia

Lead
Your lead paragraph is great. It is clear and concise. You definitely expanded it well from the original lead paragraph. My only suggestion is that you may want to mention that the NPFL is no longer active. With the current lead paragraph, it might suggest that the NPFL is still active. Also maybe consider adding a sentence or two regarding the major sections of the article.

Content
The External Actors section is a great addition. It is clear and well-written. It is also relevant to our course, which is very important. If there are any other relevant external actors involved with the NPFL, I would definitely add them here. That is pretty obvious, but I only suggest it because I think this is such a valuable section.

It seems like you are still editing the Leadership section. I think there are some minor grammatical errors, especially in the first sentence. You can definitely expand this section with more information related to the responsibilities of each of the major leaders. Other than that, I would suggest you make a clear distinction between the military leadership and political leadership.

For the ethnic divides paragraph, I would just make it a little more clear that the conflict between Doe and Quiwonkpa was ethnically motivated. For instance, is there a history of ethnic conflict between the ethnic groups of these two men? If so, I think that would definitely be relevant and could be included here.

Tone and Balance
Your tone throughout your draft is great. It is obviously neutral and you fairly explained the differences between the ethnic groups. Nothing in your draft seems biased. If you do expand the section about ethnic divides, just remember to keep it fair and balanced, which you are already doing really well.

Sources and References
Your sources all seem good. Just remember the requirements for the sources that we talked about during our meeting (i.e. 5 academic sources, 2 African sources, etc.)

Organization
It seems like you will still be adding more sections to your draft in the future. Just remember to include them in a logical order. As of right now, I would maybe include the Leadership section higher up in the article. Leadership is pretty broad, so I feel like it would make sense to include it towards the beginning.

Images and Media
Your image is great. It's relevant and it makes sense. The caption is clear and concise. If you can include more images, I definitely suggest you add more!

Overall Impression
As I already mentioned, I really like that you included the section about external actors. I think that is a great addition to the existing article. I'm sure you will be adding more sections and more information to your draft later on, but I think this is a great start. Great job, Sabrina!

Peer Review Response to Jeff
Hey Jeff!

Thank you so much for your feedback on my page. I found your comments to be very insightful and quite helpful. Here are a few bullet responses to some suggestions you made:

-In regards to clarifying that the NPFL is no longer active in the Lead paragraph, I have included a table on the right side of the page that has a section labeled "Dates of Operation" defining this period to be between 1980s-1996

-The Leadership section had not yet been edited when you did your peer review; it was just the untouched copy and pasted section from the current published article. I have since changed it and edited it pretty thoroughly, adding a lot of detail about the other people involved in the leadership of the NPFL and also correcting the grammatical errors I found.

-I also really appreciated your comment about the organization of my sections; I took your advice and relocated the Leadership section to be under the Lead paragraph. I definitely think it flows better now than it did before.

-I am still looking for more images to add to my page. There is one specific image I have added several times now, but every time I refresh my sandbox it has somehow vanished, even though I am publishing my changes. Not sure what the deal is there... I might have to ask the research librarian I have been working with.

I am still polishing the article and working to add more sections and expand the sections that already exist, but so far so good! Again, thanks so much for your insightful comments. I appreciate it!!

Best,

Sabrina