User:Earthlover36/Coffee production in Ethiopia/Tallahatchie Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Earthlover36


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Earthlover36/Coffee production in Ethiopia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Coffee production in Ethiopia
 * Coffee production in Ethiopia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

This is not the section which you are working on, but because of your added section I would add a sentence about effects of climate change on production just so the lead covers the whole article.

Content

Everything looks great and basically all the bases are covered. Maybe discuss economic inequalities and how climate change only perpetuates these (this may not be applicable, but one thing climate change seems to be doing everywhere is affecting the marginalized).

Tone and Balance

A little loose with commas. Try not starting the first two sentences clauses like "previously," or "now," I would also suggest making sure that each sentence starts with a different word than the previous one just to professionalize the writing a bit more. Keeping the straightforward and descriptive tone used for these sentences:

"The mean annual temperature of Ethiopia has increased rapidly; it is is projected to increase by 1.1-3.1 degrees Celsius by 2060. Temperature increases are directly correlated with invasive pests and disease development, both of which can cause production lost when disregarded. Also increasing is the uncertainty of yearly weather patterns."

should be what you're looking for.

Sources and References

More sources on general climate change and what it looks like in East Africa. Cite source you got "1.1-3.1 degrees Celsius by 2060" at the end of that sentence.

Organization

Good organization. Only thing is change the font and size of the header/title or the subsection.

Images and Media

N/A