User:EatingHotCupcake

Hello. My name is Mr. Smithy Buns. I am a sexy yet unreliable person that needs a life. Please, sit down and listen to my tale.

Once upon a time, my parents wanted to have a cookie. Instead, they got me. You see, my mom was a unicorn and my dad was a hippo. So instead of filing for sexy divorce they decided to mate and make me. So yeah. One day, my mom was fixing one sexy little sock and instead dropped it into a deep sexy well. My dad, being a crazy man who smelled like a woman, decided to die a dramatic death and plunged headfirst into the well like some crazy blonde headed chick with a loafer boyfriend. While my mom grieved, I played my super sexy game until she disappeared into the giant purple bra sparkly void and met her mother's brother's cousin's wife's daughter's aunt's step-father's sister's sleeping-pill addicted niece and her friend. And then they decided to eat with a nice gentleman who wasn't quite sexual enough with his pelvic thrusts and my mom decided to stay there in New York and marry him and have 37419343134034 children. That was the day I had a sudden burning urge to go to the crazy chipmunk owned store and my myself a bra. I soon found myself selling my soul and body to the devil and began a new life of being a loser. Soon enough, I was too sexy for that and I climbed on top of Mount Everest until a monkey ate my brains and ate all my green jello until I died slowly and anti-dramatically died to my lonely death. Soon enough I ended up in HELL eating a giant cupcake and dancing with a bunch of sexy guys. To this day I still wish that I could have an awesome life.

And that is my sexy story.