User:Eeweber/Homosociality

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Opposite sex friendships are relatively new phenomenon that started to become common in the 20th century. This is due to strict cultural gender roles leading to the separation of social spheres and emotional intimacy between men and women. The segregation of spheres led to homosocial relationships appearing different between the sexes; however, these relations were common and casually accepted within society for both men and women. These relationships were emotionally and sometimes physically intimate where both men and women would confess their love for their friend, today these acts of confessing their love for one another would be viewed as romantic. However, recognition and fear surrounding homosexuality did not rise until the late 19th century, therefore, homosocial tendencies were not seen as romantic in the mid 1700s and 1800s.

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Female Friendships:

Between the mid-eighteenth and mid-nineteenth century, homosocial relationships created support networks for women at all ages and varied from familial ties of mother-daughter or sister relationships to mature intimate friendships between women. During this time, women were mainly kept in the private sphere of the home, besides going to church, making these friendships ingrained in women's way of life; which created rituals of women often visiting one another. For women that lived close to one another in urban areas, visits would take place on daily bases. This is not plausible for women that live in rural areas or long distances; therefore, they would devote long periods of time for their visits. Those visits could last days, weeks, and even months at a time. Furthermore, it was common for other women to finitely move in with their friends when husbands would travel.

Moreover, relationships between female friends were emotionally intimate. This can be seen in the 1700s, when courtship was most prevalent, young girls gave little emotional affection to suitors, instead it was reserved for their female friend. An example of this comes from a letter written by Peggy Emlen to her close friend and cousin Sally Logan, "If tis not true love and friendship, what is it I feel for thee? Nothing less, I am sure."

For women, their homosocial relationships were not in isolation from one another; often there would be integrated communities making systems of kinship. The longevity of these systems proves how important it was for women. In the twentieth century most, homosocial practice has dissolved; however, kin systems were still prevalent. At this time, women were in charge of doing all the household kin work, this includes visits, organizing gatherings, and communications with others.

Male Friendships:

Similar to female friendships, homosocial male friendships were also emotionally intimate and often created in all male spaces. The two most prominent examples of all male spaces that caused homosocial relationships to flourish were university campuses in the 1700s and mining camps during the gold rush in the mid 1800s.

College was a space where many men could create deeply rooted homosocial friendships with other men that ended up being life-long. The homosocial tendencies of these relationships did not diminish once these men left college, moved to separate cities, or after getting married. This is because it was common for these men to keep regular correspondence by writing letters to one another. These letters were sentimental and provided emotional fulfillment to these men, which can be seen with the homosocial friendship between William Livingston and (other dudes name). "Once [William] became confined to a sedentary life by old age, he planned to devote an hour each day to reading the bounds of [friends name] letters." When it came to marriage many of these men viewed their homosocial friendships to be complementary to their marriages so much so that some men would share the affectionate letters they received with their wife and kids.

The gold rush created a unique environment within mining camps where the lack of women being present meant that men had to do tasks that were normally done by women. An example of this is sewing, the nature of the work meant the men were constantly mending their clothing. In turn, this created a culture of intimate sewing circles, one man describes such events as, "while we pile our needles, our tongues were equally busy speaking of mutual friends and hopes." In later years when women started becoming more present some men with homosocial relationships resented their presence, despite still sexually desiring women. This is because it ruined the "romantic constructions of ubiquitous male harmony." After the gold rush had ended many men would later recall and miss the high sense of "fellow-feeling" in 1849-1850, even going as far as comparing this time as utopia.