User:Efcordova/Sexual victimization of Native American women/Zeus Aurelius Peer Review

General info
User:Efcordova
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Sexual victimizatiaon of Native American women
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * User:Efcordova/Sexual victimization of Native American women

Lead

 * The third sentence, starting with "This study...", seems a bit out of place in a lead section. Wikipedia's lead sections seem to rarely refer to single studies, but try to give a general overview of a topic. Consider changing the wording or making more general, introductory claims.
 * The lead section needs more citations backing up its claims.
 * The added content in the "History ..." and "Federal government efforts" sections could be better reflected and summarized in the lead section.

Images

 * I would consider finding and adding relevant pictures and graphs of relevant statistics to both the lead section and other content sections.

Tone and balance

 * The tone of some parts of the article verge on the edge between neutral and evaluative. It's crucial to fairly and accurately depict the violence and miseries that this topic covers, but for a encylopedia it matters that this is done with a neutral, non-judgmental tone. For example in the first sentence of the lead section, I'd consider rewording it slightly and aiming for a more neutral introduction.

Content

 * Some of the past content which was deleted seemed appropriate to the article, such as the sentence on the FBI investigating and then deciding whether a case should be handled by tribal laws. It seems the article would benefit from keeping some of this content.
 * I'm unsure how relevant the specifics of the story of Pocahontas is to the history section and it might be worth considering making a more general claim along the lines of "Native American women have faced a long history of violence [...], as seen in early cases of Pocahontas [reference] or the case of ___ [reference]."
 * I'd personally call the paragraph "Statistics and data" just "Statistics", but that's up to a choice of style.
 * The section "Federal government efforts" could probably be more concisely worded.
 * The end of the article has the template instruction box remaining which should be removed.
 * The end of the article has the template outline remaining.