User:Eg2619/Alzheimer's disease/PowdersPOWPOW Peer Review

General info
I am reviewing Eg2619's work on Alzheimer's disease.
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Eg2619/Alzheimer%27s_disease?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Alzheimer's disease

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article added valuable information on the visual impairment in Alzheimer's disease, which the original wiki page didn't have.

Lead
The lead of this article is an outline of the paragraphs below. It concisely described the content of the paragraphs below, but I think it may be better to make the lead section a paragraph instead of bullet points, since that's what the instructions in Wiki suggest.

Content
I really like how the paragraphs start with the problems in the lack of attention on visual impairment in dementia to make the content important. The first two paragraphs in the article focused on dementia. While Alzheimer's disease is a type of dementia, dementia also includes other diseases, which may have different mechanisms on visual impairment. It will be nice to explain whether the visual impairments and screenings described in these paragraphs fit Alzheimer's disease.

One last thing I would change is to get rid of the negative consequences the caregivers face with dementia as it's not directly related to the disease and the caregivers of all disease may face the same consequences.

Organization
The article is well organized with an outline, but it may be better to break the main paragraphs into different subsections to be more clear.