User:Ehail773/Fox Wars/AJF1403 Peer Review

General info
(Ehail773)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Ehail773/Fox Wars
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Fox Wars

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead does include the new topics that were changed and does so in a way that makes sense and is not forced. The lead itself gets the point across of what is being talked about in the article and is not drawn out too long. The introductory sentence is used to show the topic of the article and explain what it is, and the whole lead explains what the article is about in a brief but detailed paragraph.

Content: The content added is relevant to the overall topic. There are good details and explanations used that relate well with the section they are in. It needs more information in general since there are a couple short paragraphs, but I am assuming that will be added eventually. Since this content is expanding on the existing article, there should be more connection to the rest of that article. Like the first section, there is not much if any mention of the overall topic although it does relate. I think it would be helpful to give the reader the connection to better understand (for example connecting the fur trade to the fox wars within the paragraph instead of just the lead).

Tone and Balance: There does not seem to be any bias in the changes that were made. The sections do a good job at detailing multiple perspectives, more of the French perspective in the first section and the Indian perspective in the second section. After reading the changes, it does not seem to shift your thinking in favor of one side, overall more informational.

Sources and References: In what is shown in the sandbox, it does not look like there are many sources. There are only 3 sources listed, and they are not integrated into the text. I would suggest to add more sources, include them into the references section, and integrate them in the text by adding them at the end of a sentence that uses the sources or relates to it.

Organization: The information that has been added is written in a way that is easy to read and organized with 2 sections and 1 paragraph each. There is no problem with the way the sections are organized as far as structure and the content itself, it just needs more paragraphs and details to be added.

Images and Media: There are no new images added. That can be added at any time and is easy to do so. It does not require immediate attention but would be nice to add later on before the changes are finished.

Overall Impressions: I believe it is a great article and the changes that are made add to the article very well. The new content is insightful to the topic and what has been done so far is a good foundation. I believe there needs to be more information, as there will be since it is not finished yet, and there could be use of more clear connection to the overall topic (mentioning the connection to the fox war in the sections) as well as a need for more sources and integrating them into the text.