User:EhrenS/revel

Popular/recurring KQ Morning Show segments
- Real _____ Or Not: A game show-style contest in which listeners (usually three) play against each other. Barnard will read them a clue or have them listen to a soundbite and the listener has to guess if what they heard was real or made up. While the segment is pitched as a contest, there is a "one tie, all tie" clause in which if any one player ties another, everyone wins the prize. Predictably, this almost always happens. Several variations used have been "Real Porno Movie Title Or Not" and "Real Tabloid Headline Or Not".

- Listener's Segment: Usually beginning between 7:30-8:00 AM, the show has a segment dedicated entirely to listener mail. Mail read on-air often includes references to recently covered stories by the show or humorous moments.

- Vegas Show: One time a year, usually in November, the show travels to and broadcasts live from Las Vegas. Even though Las Vegas is on Pacific time, the show still comes on at its regular time. Many KQ listeners travel with the show to Vegas and listen live as it is broadcast from a hotel conference room. Several running gags in regards to the Vegas show is how drunk all the listeners in attendance (as well as the show members) are despite it running from 3:30-7:20 AM as well as women flashing their breasts and comparing size. Comedian Louie Anderson, a Minnesota native and good friend of Barnard who has a regular show in Las Vegas, frequently drops by.

- Football Picks: Show members Gelfand and Wise make weekly picks on that week's NFL action. Stretch and Wise keep a running total of how their picks (made from an imaginary pool of money) do during the season.

- Stretch's Dead Pool: Shortly after New Year's, Gelfand, the show crew and several listeners participate in a contest picking people who they believe will die within the current year. The pool is run in a sports draft format with each person picking a predicted death in order.

- Dead or Not Dead: A contest where callers are asked whether a celebrity/athlete/public figure, usually somewhat obscure, is alive or not. Dead celebrities are usually recently deceased, and living ones are usually old, ailing or whose popularity has waned.

- Sound Bites: Like many radio shows, KQRS has a wide variety of sound bites that are played by Zepp at various times during the show. Several of these mock the show members themselves. For example, Barnard once read a news story that had quoted someone as saying "I love being gay", while another he read starts out with "When I was 17 I enjoyed a summer experimenting with guys.". The recordings of these are now played at various times to tease Barnard. Others include famous celebrity slip ups and racial humor such as a soundbite with an black man saying "where all the white women at?" which is actually a line from the movie Blazing Saddles. Many of the sound bites are from popular television shows such as South Park, The Simpsons, The Office, and Da Ali G Show.

- Mike Evans Live From Hollywood: Celebrity gossip reporter Mike Evans calls in (typically from his home in Palm Springs, CA) and reports the latest celebrity gossip as well as reviews new and upcoming movies. Evans has gained popularity with his "Aloha Friday" song which he sings when reporting on Fridays. Evans is often made fun of by the crew for pronouncing celebrity names and other words wrong, most recently that of comedian Frank Caliendo and Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

- The Arrest: An actual audio recording of a black man being arrested by Minneapolis police. The man is clearly unhappy with his situation and berates the arresting officers, refusing to give them his personal information. Highlights include him noting his name as "Bitch", then spelling it "b-i-c-h" when asked to by the officer. Many letters in the aforementioned Listener's Segment begin with 'Dear KQ Biches'. The man also refers to the officer as "yo mammy" several times and when asked by the police if he has ever been arrested before, he repiles "yup!...for kicking white folks' ass". 

- You Kicked My Dog: The KQ Morning Show is one of few today who still reference the cult Internet comedy prank call You Kicked My Dog. Many soundbites from this call are used by the crew, most notably the line "you know damn right!" which is often played when talking or reading a newswire story about terrorists.

- Cat Lady : A mentally unsound woman calls 911 to request that officers be sent to her home to take her cat away because it is "scared". She goes on to tell the operator to go fly a kite with a hole in it and that she should be put to sleep. She becomes enraged that the operator would question her reasoning abilities and threatens her several times.

- Cash Call: Audio of Ken Thomas at WJJY in Brainerd, Minnesota calling people to see if they can guess at a dollar amount to win that amount. Many of the sound bites used in the show come from this mix of people whom Thomas called throughout the years. These include the phrases "$17, hows that?," "a pair of choppers," "anybody can come," "not interested," "who is this?", "chess ball?" and "aren't you gay?"

- The Chucker: Played by former KQ DJ John "Johnny Rock" Lassman. A fictional morning DJ From "P-P-Power 92 radio" whose bit is to confuse the interviewee with someone that works with them, has a similar last name, or is the complete opposite of the subject's personality. He is known for his "a-he-he-he-he" laugh and the phrase "Can't thank you enough for all the time." He has interviewed Jim Nabors (Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., Andy Griffith Show), George Carlin (confused with Gabe Kaplan), Rob Schneider (confused with Dana Carvey), Keanu Reeves (confused with Christopher Reeve), George Lindsey (Andy Griffith), a Christian comic (whom he told several dirty jokes to), "Michael Jackson" (actually a Michael Jackson that lived in Chicago whose name he got from the phone book) and former Twin's Second Baseman "Chuck Knoblar" (Chuck Knoblauch). This was a regular bit, but is not exclusive to KQRS.

- Brad Blanks: Australian-born celebrity reporter Brad Blanks calls in and reports to the crew on various celebrity functions and provides audio of several celebrities he interviewed at that function. Blanks' reports differ from Mike Evans in that Evans does not have audio interviews of celebrities and only provides gossip from around Hollywood.