User:Eirrt

THE INFAMOUS ERIK THOMPSON

Erik Scott Thompson (500000 B.C. - current) Born - December 27th Babylon, Mesopotamia Whereabouts - Unknown

Erik was born the product of an Eskimo and a homeless woman named Sophie. His parents cherrished him however the time came when he was 18 months old for them to let him out of the house. Erik was sent down the Tigris in a cooler waiting to start his new life. He couldn't read he couldn't write, he couldn't even talk. However he would become the greatest self-made man in the history of the world. When he was but five years old he displayed his ingenuity by inventing the toster struddle, the only problem was the toster would not been invented for another 300000 years or so. But all in all he was a head of his time. In grade school he was ridiculed for not worshiping the mesopotamian gods. Three thousand years later when the real God smote the people he got the last laugh. In 75 A.D. he invented ass-kicking when he single handedly defeated the Roman Empire as he refused to pay a tip for bad pancakes.