User:El Nacho

El Nacho is the greatest known being in the universe.

He has done many great things, including mastering interstellar space travel, killing the Nemean Lion and inventing the wheel. His many contributions throughout the ages have inevitably caused today's society to be as absolutely awesome as it is.

However, it is not just what El Nacho has done for society that is astounding, but his many powerful abilities as well. He can breathe underwater, control the elements, speak with animals, fly, has ultimate control over sea creatures, run faster than the speed of light, heal instantaneously, read minds, control the forests, has Heat and X-ray vision, and has the ability to turn mundane metals into gold.

El Nacho is also a master of the ninja arts. He has been known to, on occasion, pick fights with Chuck Norris and win. He has also mastered judo, tae-kwon-do, karate, jujitsu and his own martial art, nachonojutsu.

El Nacho has many elementally based armies called his "The Acolyte Armies". These four armies have abilities based on the elements of Fire, Water, Wind and the Earth, and El Nacho keeps them all on call twenty-four hours a day.

El Nacho is characterised by his iconic Sombrero and poncho. He is always accompanied by Corn Chip, his playful pet monkey and his faithful sidekick, El Stubbso. El Nacho's many allies and friends include El Taco, La Fajita, El Zilcho, El Chunko and El Stubbso . Unfortunately, no photo can be given on this page as El Nacho's blinding aura of awesomeness causes all photographic equipment to show only a blank white photo.

El Nacho recently formed his own country with El Stubbso, which has the world's first 3-Dimensional flag (dodecahedron). This country should be easy to find on any new map,(made in the last few minutes) but if you do not have access to a map this new, simply ask any relaiable geography teacher. If they say that it does not exist, they are either Mr Hutton, who has been sworn to a vow of secrecy about the country's location, or they are a very poor geography teacher. This country is only accessable through a magic portal on the island in the middle of Narrabeen Lake.

Whenever El Nacho strikes, he leaves his trademark sign, a letter "N" with a sombrero on top. This has become a sign of hope for those in trouble, despair for those who do evil, and apathy in those who are indifferent either way.

El Nacho's Mortal Enemy is known as Jasellasaurus, a hideous billion year old Japanese sea monster with a taste for ramen. This despicable monster has the power to shoot cholera pathogens at people, as well as causing misery and despair in the general populace.

El Nacho's love interest is a fair damsel known as Louisella, who is a Hobbit/potato, and is constantly plagued by attacks from the Jassellasaurus.

El Nacho's evil alter ego is simply known as Dark El Nacho, who came about as a result of an incident involving a certain sea monster and a lot of fluoride.

El Nacho also has the ability to turn vegetables and other unworthy food items into meat. He gained this ability to combat the heathen vegetarians after beginning a crusade against these "people".