User:Eldwin Barnard

Eldwin Baranrd
He grew up in the small country of Bristol, whilst punching tens and shagging friends he found his unrequited love for music/attention. Eversince year eleven the king himself has had a driving passion for germany and all the females that live there.He first discovered his passion for himself at the age of 5 when he realised, or at least thought he realised, that he was GREAT. Eldwin's talents, however, are few and far between, despite all his relentless attempts to be the next Ed Sheeran.

Eldwin Baranrd Self proclaimed musicain of music, weaver of strings and breaker of hearts. Eldwin currently lives out his lasts remaining days in Clifton, or as he calls it 'Easton.' Up until recently, Eldwin was the best martial artist in the world, achieving 270 karate black belts. However, he gave it up for personal reasons. The same applies to his international football where he won six world cups, which he now drinks vodka out of and cries into.

Eldwin Barnard
Eldwin is unvaccinated, and is subsequently dying of measles at the moment of writing. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends and fans. There will be a tribute band for him at the fleece, supported by Lily Ashby and Eldwin's corpse. We hope to see you all then. Amen and rip.