User:Electrified mocha chinchilla/Recently

Recently...
May 20, 2006

Some of you may or may not know, but I am moving from the great city of Las Vegas, Nevada to the rural third-world hell-hole known as Sioux City, Iowa sometime in June. One word: culture shock.

And by all means, deliver unto me your sympathy. I shall need it in the long drive that I will be taking. It feels as though I am literally moving out of the country.

April 19, 2006

I hope everybody had a joyous Spring Break/Easter/Passover, and ultimately, my recent shift towards Pastafarianism has lead me to abandon most religious holidays. It's all very biased; even the Gregorian Calender records years in the A.D. (after the death of Jesus Christ). I don't want to get too religious, because this is supposed to be about events. So...

I realized how much I love the quadratic forumla. It took me two years of Algebra to realize it. In fact, I'm going to change my password to the formula.

April 12, 2006

A dead bird hit my window. I know what some of you may be thinking: dead birds cannot fly. I assure you, he wasn’t flying. I guess somebody threw it at my window, because this bird had been dead for quite some time.

The stench was horrible, and it knocked my window screen off. This was on the second story, so it was one hell-of-a good shot. I had to crawl out of my window and onto my patio cover to pick the poor thing up and put it in a bag. Then on top of that, my cat brought home a dead mouse. Coincidence? I think not.

April 11th, 2006

I was caught up watching an episode of Walker Texas Ranger the other morning. During this episode, a TV station and its staff are taken hostage by a group of white supremacist thugs (very original storyline). Of course, all Walker Texas Ranger episodes have a corny moral. So anyways, instead of being cliché and sending in a S.W.A.T. Team or negotiating, good ole' Chuck Norris goes in instead.

Around this time, one of the white supremacists is about to kill two black hostages with his insanely large machine gun. He says to them, "I'm the last white guy you're ever going to see...". As he took the safety off of his gun, Chuck Norris pops in the doorway, and says, "No! I'm the last white guy you're ever going to see!". Awesome.

Chuck then drop kicks the heavily armed terrorist. After the man falls and dies from such a kick that could take down Godzilla, Chuck hides, hearing another terrorist approaching. The terrorist walks in, with a dumb look on his face and a few choice words to describe how baffled he is by his partner laying dead. Chuck pops out from his hiding spot again, and uppercuts the terrorist into the ceiling. He also died, because his head popped off. Blood went everywhere and Chuck grabbed the guy by his torso and started drinking it.

Well, it was mostly true up until the whole decapitation thing. It made me realize though, that these Chuck Norris jokes/facts could very well be true.