User:Elephantidae123/sandbox

Article Evaluation - Week 2
Article for review: Julia Pastrana

As far as the writing style of the article goes, the author uses an excessive amount of commas within the article. These were a bit distracting and disrupted the flow of the article and made it more difficult to read. The article remains somewhat neutral, but it has an overall very negative connotation towards Pastrana's life. The author only focused on the bad parts about her life and did not shed any light on the positives that may have arisen from her unfortunate health situation. The author also appears to hold a higher value to Charles Darwin's comments and perspective on Pastrana's life. There are large quotes listed on the Wikipedia page from Darwin, as well as separate sections for Darwin's views that make it appear that his views are of higher importance than other people's views/comments.

The citations on the Wikipedia page appear to be in proper format and links to other pages also appear to work properly. The sources that the author uses do appear to support the claims that were made in the Wikipedia article. However, some claims are missing citations. Not all sources appear to be very reliable, for example a Buzzfeed article was cited, as well as websites that don't seem to have any credibility. Some of the references also appear to hold the same negative connotation towards her life with little information on the positives of her life. Some sources do appear to be a bit more neutral in the sense, noting more about the facts of her life more holistically, rather than only features the negatives. There are some instances of plagiarism, as some sources have the exact same wording/phrasing as the Wikipedia page itself, indicating that there was poor paraphrasing or even simply copy and pasting.

Information isn’t necessarily out of date in the sense that it is no longer correct/factual, however the author does use some words that hold a more dated viewpoint. For example, the author uses the word “freak” a lot, which by definition may be an appropriate word to use, but it doesn’t honor Pastrana well and sheds her in a very negative light that isn’t needed at times. This word may have been more appropriate in earlier years, but in present day it doesn’t seem as appropriate.

The Talk page appears to be making strides in more accurately representing Pastrana as a person and more holistically. Using language that more appropriately and accurately describes her believed heritage as well as images that better represent her as a human being are of note in the Talk page.

The article is a part of three projects, none of which are rated particularly extraordinarily. Two of which being rated, “C-class” and one of which being rated “start class”.

Proposed Article Edits - Week 3
Article for Review: Julia Pastrana

Original
At first, Pastrana performed under the management of J.W. Beach, but in 1854, she eloped with Theodore Lent, marrying him in Baltimore, Maryland. Lent took over her management, and they toured throughout the US and Europe. Pastrana was advertised as a hybrid between an animal and a human and worked in sideshows and freak shows under the stage names the "Baboon Lady", the "Dog-faced Woman", the "Hairy Woman", the "Ape-faced Woman", the "Ape Woman", the "Bear Woman", and "The Nondescript". However, during her performances, she illustrated her intelligence and talent: singing, dancing, and interacting with the audience.

Proposed Revision
At first, Pastrana performed under the management of J.W. Beach, but in 1854, she eloped with Theodore Lent, marrying him in Baltimore, Maryland. Lent took over her management, and they toured throughout the US and Europe. Pastrana was advertised as a hybrid between an animal and a human and worked in sideshows and freak shows under the stage names the "Baboon Lady", the "Dog-faced Woman", the "Hairy Woman", the "Ape-faced Woman", the "Ape Woman", the "Bear Woman", and "The Nondescript". However, during her performances, she illustrated her intelligence and talent: singing, dancing, and interacting with the audience. The proper perspective on this woman's life is unknown truly to anyone except Pastrana herself, however, it is worthy to note that while it seems as though the possibility of Pastrana's life being grueling and heavily exploited, before Pastrana died, it is claimed that she stated that she will end her days a happy woman. While it is important to recognize the potential harm and dehumanization ensued by Pastrana's husband Lent, Pastrana did claim to be well loved by her husband. Although from an outside perspective people can only speculate, this does provide hope that Pastrana lived a life where she was joyful and got to experience love for who she was.

Reason for Edits
The current page for Julia Pastrana points out only the negative aspects of Pastrana's life and doesn't try to shed any light on her situation. While her situation may not have been necessarily desirable, it is important to include both possible perspectives for her outlook as well as other's on her situation. While many people spoke negatively of her, it still is very well possible that she lived a good life. It is important to include this possibility while discussing who she was as a person. This brings some sense of humanity back to a woman he was dehumanized by so many people.

Perch
I chose this article because I found the Perch to be a very intriguing specimen and we have not worked on any fish other than sharks in our lab section and the Perch article will be a great starting place and home base to be able to reference during our dissection and analysis of this fish.

Proposed Edits
Under the "Species" heading in this article, the European perch & the Yellow perch appear to be favored a bit over the Balkhash perch. There is much more information on the European and Yellow perch and there should be a bit more information on the Balkhash perch in order to make sure that the author is providing the reader with adequate amount of information for each species in order to prevent any bias or misinformation. A good article in order to gather more information would be Balkhash perch.

Also, under the "Anatomy" title, there is very little information or explanation on some of the features that the article explains to be present in the Perch. It is important to either add at least a small explanation on the features that are listed, or possibly provide a link to another Wikipedia page that gives more information on these features. Otherwise there really is not knowledge or information to be gained from the article.

Under the section titled "Habitats", the article talks a bit about catching prey and the fish's techniques for doing so which are a bit off topic for this heading. I would exclude this information and place it in a different section more fitting.

Actinopterygii
I found this article to be quite interesting because it has a wide variety of images that show different ray finned fish and I think this peaked my interest because all of the fish are very different in their shapes and sizes and they are all beautiful!

Proposed Edits
The article has some great images and figures that help illustrate the information being provided, however on the images representing all of the different body shapes and fin arrangements of the ray finned fishes, there is little to no explanation on many of the images. There needs to be at least a little explanation for each fish being represented just to point out what that fish is representative of and how it differs from other fishes.

The first paragraph of this article is quite short and within this short paragraph there is quite a bit of information in parenthesis that breaks up the flow of the paragraph a bit. This makes the paragraph hard to follow and difficult to understand what the reader is supposed to take from the sentence(s). It would be beneficial to break these up into separate sentences in order to help the reader better understand what the author is trying to say.

In the box comparing Chondrostei and Neopterygii. there is much more information on the Chondrostei than the Neopterygii. It is important that there is an even comparison of information provided for both of these two subclasses. The Neopterygii is lacking information about its evolution as well as its anatomical characteristics. The Wikipedia article Neopterygii will be helpful in providing additional information needed for this comparison.

Freshwater Fish
The freshwater fish article will be interesting as this will be great reference and further understanding for my research on the Perch, but also because these fish are what we most commonly encounter in our lives as these are found in rivers and lakes most often.

Proposed Edits
This writing style in this article seems a bit brief at times. The author doesn't seem to expand on some points that are made, or rather makes points assuming that the reader has knowledge on the topic already. It would benefit the reader to be given this information while reading the article, rather than having to do research on their own in order to fully understand the information being provided. One example of where this is needed is in this first paragraph of the article where the author is talking about the salinity of the water in freshwater springs versus marine conditions. The authors assumes that the readers knows salinity levels of marine conditions while stating the typical salinity levels of freshwater while omitting this information when referring to the marine conditions. This is important information to have in order to further understand the comparison to freshwater and other types of conditions that fish live in. The Seawater article will provide additional information on the differences in salinity in freshwater and marine conditions.

The section titled "Physiology" could use much more explanation on the topics brought up. It is important to expand on these things rather than assuming that the reader has background information available to them already. There is a need for a greater comparison to saltwater fish in this section. There needs to be more clarity in the information that is given, since the author begins this section like they will be doing a full comparison of freshwater fish and saltwater fish. However the author then speaks on certain anatomical features but does not specify whether these features are representative of freshwater fish or saltwater fish. This leads to quite a bit of confusion while reading.

The section titled "Threats" is extremely disproportional to the sections present in the rest of the article. The other sections in this article are so brief that it might even be more fitting to have this article be on specifically the threats to freshwater fish, rather than an overall informative page of freshwater fish as a whole. It is important to make sure that the information being given on each aspect of these fishes is important to make sure that the reader comes away from this article with a great understanding on all aspects of these fish. Currently, the article gives a great understanding on the threats to these fish, with very brief and few explanations for most other sections in this article.

Heather's Proposed Edits
The perch article lacks information regarding the Balkhash species of perch and additional information is needed in the section speaking on this species in order to prevent bias towards the European and Yellow perches. The article also needs additional explanation and information regarding information provided in the anatomy section. The author writes as though the reader has background information on anatomical features, which prevents the reader from getting a full understanding of the topic. The article also gets a bit off topic during the habitat section and begins to talk about methods of catching prey.

Odonnus' Proposed Edits
The perch article lacks links for certain anatomical features listed in the article. The article is also missing information regarding the internal anatomy of the fish. The article gives a good amount of information regarding the internal anatomy of the perch, however it is important to provide information regarding all aspects of the perch and in order to do that the internal anatomy needs to be addressed.

Sloane's Proposed Edits
There are multiple phrases in the perch article that are lacking proper citations or they are plagiarized. The sentence structure at times is also a bit choppy and could use some rewording in order to better clarify what the author is talking about. The article also uses a lot of sources that aren’t the most reliable, there are a lot of magazine articles used and the article would benefit more from sources that are more concrete and dependable. There also is the potential for a supplementary page to be included for the percidae, as these are ray finned fishes like the perch is.

Bibliography for Group Perch
“Exploring Our Fluid Earth.” Structure and Function - Fish | Manoa.hawaii.edu/ExploringOurFluidEarth, https://manoa.hawaii.edu/exploringourfluidearth/biological/fish/structure-and-function-fish

“External Body Parts of a Bony Fish (Lutjanidae) - Csun.edu.” CSUN.edu, https://www.csun.edu/~msteele/classes/Ich530/handouts/1_external%20anatomy%20and%20taxonomy.pdf

Hubbs, Carl L., et al. “Perch Family - Percidae.” Fishes of the Great Lakes Region, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI, 2004, pp. 100–109.

Pringle, Robert M. “Origins of the Nile Perch in Lake Victoria.” OUP Academic, Oxford University Press, 1 Sept. 2005, https://academic.oup.com/bioscience/article/55/9/780/286121?login=true.

Feedback responses to peer reviews - Week 9
1)     Ben

Thank you for the thorough response! I definitely got a few notes to be able to improve my draft. As far as the contribution of images goes, our group has a couple of images that we are proposing to add. However, I do like your idea of taking a photo before we begin our dissection in order to get a picture that shoes the colors of the Perch well since this is talked about in the species section. Also, I plan on rephrasing the sentence about the introduction of Balkhash perch into the Nuru and Chu rivers since it is a bit confusing the way it is phrased currently. You also mentioned that there was some confusion about sources for the sections on the Yellow and European perch sections, but these sections were actually the ones from the original article. However, you are right that it looks like some sources are missing here. I plan to look into this and make sure this information is properly cited.

2)     CJManalo

Thank you for the feedback CJManalo! I appreciate your response. From your review, I plan on checking the sources from the species section of the original page and making sure that there are reliable sources being cited there. I also plan on speaking with our professor to learn more about the other species of Perch not mentioned here in order to confirm the taxonomy here before making anymore proposed edits to the page. You mentioned that you were wondering if I was looking into any other sources in addition to the one that I had cited, and I am not doing so at the moment. However, once I find out more information about the other species of Perch there is potential for me to add more sources as I include more information about these.

Species Section

 * The European perch (P. fluviatilis) is found in Europe and Asia . primarily in Europe and North America, but a few can also be found in South Africa, and even as far east on the Southern hemisphere as Australia.1 This species is typically greenish in color with dark vertical bars on its sides with a red or orange coloring in the tips of its fins. The European perch has been successfully introduced in New Zealand and Australia, where it is known as the redfin perch or English perch. In Australia, larger specimens have been bred, but the species rarely grows heavier than 2.7 kg (6 lb).
 * The Balkhash perch (P. schrenkii) is found in Kazakhstan, (in Lake Balkhash and Lake Alakol), Uzbekistan, and China. It is very similar to the European perch, and grows to a comparable size. It is a dark gray/black color on its dorsal side, but the ventral areas of the fish are a lighter silver or even sometimes green color. The Balkhash perch also displays the vertical bars on its sides, similar to the European and yellow perches. In the latter half of the 20th century, the Balkhash perch was introduced into the basins of the Nura and Chu rivers. The introduction of these fishes to the Nuru and Chu rivers was successful. Because of this success, the population of Balkhash perch in the Balkhash Lake is rarer now. They are similar in size to the yellow and European perches, weighing around 1.5 kg.2
 * The yellow perch (P. flavescens), smaller and paler than the European perch, is found in North America. In northern areas, it is sometimes referred to as the lake perch. This species is prized for its food quality and has often been raised in hatcheries and introduced into areas in which it is not native. Yellow perch are almost identical in appearance to European perch, but have a more yellow coloring. These fish typically only reach a size of about 38 cm (15 in) and 1 kg (2 lb 3 oz)

Week 12 - Illustrating an Article
Image to be added to Wikipedia page:

Figure caption: European perch (Perca fluviatilis), exhibiting its green coloration and red tipped fins, as well as the vertical bars on its sides.

Species
Most authorities recognize three species within the perch genus:


 * The European perch (P. fluviatilis) is found primarily in Europe and North America, but a few can also be found in South Africa, and even as far east on the Southern hemisphere as Australia.1 This species is typically greenish in color with dark vertical bars on its sides with a red or orange coloring in the tips of its fins. The European perch has been successfully introduced in New Zealand and Australia, where it is known as the redfin perch or English perch. In Australia, larger specimens have been bred, but the species rarely grows heavier than 2.7 kg (6 lb).
 * The Balkhash perch (P. schrenkii) is found in Kazakhstan, (in Lake Balkhash and Lake Alakol), Uzbekistan, and China. It is a dark gray/black color on its dorsal side, but the ventral areas of the fish are a lighter silver or even sometimes green color. The Balkhash perch also displays the vertical bars on its sides, similar to the European and yellow perches. In the latter half of the 20th century, the Balkhash perch was introduced into the basins of the Nura and Chu rivers. The introduction of these fishes to the Nuru and Chu rivers was successful. Because of this success, the population of Balkhash perch in the Balkhash Lake is rarer now. They are similar in size to the yellow and European perches, weighing around 1.5 kg.2
 * The yellow perch (P. flavescens), smaller and paler than the European perch, is found in North America. In northern areas, it is sometimes referred to as the lake perch. This species is prized for its food quality and has often been raised in hatcheries and introduced into areas in which it is not native. Yellow perch are almost identical in appearance to European perch, but have a more yellow coloring. These fish typically only reach a size of about 38 cm (15 in) and 1 kg (2 lb 3 oz)