User:Ella.olgin/Eclampsia/AN ucsf Peer Review

General info
Ella.olgin, Aevallej, Y.s.a.law, Asingh238
 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Eclampsia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Eclampsia

Lead:

 * A suggestion might be to clarify the introductory sentence as the understanding of eclampsia is currently dependent on having a clear understanding of pre-eclampsia. A suggestion might be to explain that eclampsia is a progression of pre-eclampsia, and includes the signs and symptoms of pre-eclampsia with the development of seizures.
 * A potential addition might also be the natural course of disease and how it leadsto death of the parent and fetus
 * I like the updated language which reflects inclusivity!

Signs and Symptoms

 * In signs and symptoms, it may be helpful to have a sentence about what the triad of symptoms for pre-eclampsia is to illustrate the eclampsia is the same but with seizures, and a progression of that disease state


 * It could also be helpful to note what trimester/time of pregnancy one should be worried about the symptoms of eclampsia
 * I would suggest adding some WIkilinks to the signs and symptoms as some clinical language is used and it might help to break those down for patients seeking explanation (ie Photophobia, altered mental status)
 * Consider citing a source for the last comment about the cerebral signs preceding the convulsion.

Onset

 * I like that there is a section for onset because time course is important in consideration of treatment modalities (ie immediate delivery)
 * I would suggest adding in more exact onset of eclampsia, and adding weeks of pregnancy to be exact with timing to be clinically relevant for patients
 * Potentially adding in when patients are typically monitored for pre-eclampsia and how they are monitored might be helpful

Characteristics

 * This section could have more Wikilinks to symptoms for people to easily look up signs/symptoms.

Tone and Balance

 * Great tone and balance of sources throughout the article! The article took a very neutral standpoint which is helpful to readers.
 * The content doesn't seem to sway towards one side or the other, and doesn't persuade the readers of a specific viewpoint

Organization

 * The section headers are very useful for patients to find information that is going to be useful for them, like symptoms and complications.
 * Consider bringing the risk factors section up higher closer to signs and symptoms, or within signs and symptoms, so the symptoms and progression of disease have more context.
 * The content is concise and is not overly wordy, which gets across needed information to readers.
 * Consider splitting the consequences into parental and fetal consequences

Great job overall on the article! Hopefully some of these suggestions help out with the editing process.