User:Ellanapack/Widow inheritance/RthB4 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ellanapak


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ellanapack/Widow_inheritance?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Widow inheritance

Evaluate the drafted changes
Citations: I can see some of your citations as page numbers and Name/Date format, I just can't see them as standard wikipedia inserted citations (with the little number for the footnote). This is fine for reading, just make sure to change that when you submit! In theory we're supposed to cite every sentence, which feels like overkill, but is standard wikipedia procedure.

Repetition?: Reading through your sandbox I got the feeling that you were trying out how to write various paragraphs in different ways. If that's the case, all the paragraphs work for me, it may just be useful to read through the page again and chose the paragraph in the section that seems most clear, as all the paragraphs in each section convey the same information. Here's one example from the beginning:


 * "There are many formal and informal rules concerning the inheritance of property, particularly land for rural women, that inhibit stable economic conditions. Due to these limitations, widows are strained into inheritance traditions as a means of maintaining stability for their families. These widow inheritance traditions often include ‘cleansing’ rituals, depending on the traditional culture of a given region."
 * "In many Sub-Saharan regions, formal and informal structures of gender inequality force widows to sacrifice their independence for inheritance traditions either within the late husband’s family or externally. Widow inheritance often emerges to combat property loss and social rejection and forced re-marriage to a brother of the deceased husband is a common widow inheritance tradition that many traditional cultures promote."

Sentences: Really trimming down your sentences can help you transition from essay-like writing to more straightforward and obvious wikipedia style. It's really hard to unlearn that, but I think because you have so much content right now you'll be able to reread and rewrite easily.

Quotations: Limit quotations to what's entirely necessary. By cutting down and summarizing a whole block quote, you can really get to the essence of what the author is trying to communicate. In this way, you can really make an accessible wikipedia page that's clear and gets straight to the facts.

Organization: You can break up longer pieces of text with subheadings instead of introducing every new section like you would an essay. This can make your page more easy to navigate so readers can jump to a section and its relevant info.

Cleansing Rituals: This section is one of the most significant in your piece! It's not mentioned in the current article but also seems really central to the article. I think making this its own subsection and really polishing it could mean a lot for your page and, as a reader, would greatly contribute to my understanding.

Depth: The information you add is really useful and seems incredibly important within this topic. It paints a much more complex picture of widow inheritance than the current article, and you've done great work identifying major aspects that need to be further explored by future wiki editors. You incorporate a lot of key aspects and nuances into that are often lacking from other pages. There's so much content here that demonstrates your dedication to the project and fleshing out this wiki page. If I was to look up widow inheritance and came across this page, I'd feel much more knowledgable on the topic! I learned so much from reading your draft and I know that would be true for many other people as well. Just want to say this is really great work, even with as much constructive criticism as I've given lol. Good job :)