User:EmBean02/Coraline/Infinite Writers Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

EmBean02


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * I will be reviewing the current version of the article, since that is what has been written (possibly edited) at this point.
 * User:EmBean02/Coraline/Bibliography
 * User:EmBean02/Coraline
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Coraline
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Coraline
 * Coraline

Lead
Needs Improvement:

-The entire first paragraph is a bit wordy. I would try to rephrase some of the sentences to be more concise and straight to the point.

-The second portion of the lead paragraph seems unnecessary and should be included in the background section of the article (I would suggest adding a background section). The portion I am referring to is where the article talks about why the author named the main character and book, "Coraline".

-Also, double check all the citations quickly!

Looks good (in my opinion):

- I like that the awards are listed.

-There appears to be lots of citations throughout the lead, which is good!

Content
Needs Improvement:

-The plot could be rephrased and sentences restructured. It becomes confusing very fast.

-I would suggest breaking the plot up into multiple smaller sections. For example, don't try to cram everything into the plot. Here's some additional sections I would include in this article: Setting, Background (on author and book), Main Characters and Secondary Characters (not all crammed into one section), etc.

- The character section is too detailed. There is a lot of information under the character section that should be included in the plot section of the article. I would especially cut down the length of the main characters description.

Looks good (in my opinion):

-The plot itself isn't bad and does include lots of details! I would use the details to your advantage when writing and just work on editing sentence structure.

-I like the film/adaptations section! I wouldn't change too much there.

Tone/Balance
Overall, I believe the article does keep a neutral tone. So, that is something you shouldn't have to worry about as a writer editing. Just make sure you maintain a neutral tone while working on this article.

Organization
I have already discussed organization above. I do believe you will spend the majority of your time on this article reorganizing ideas and improving clarity for readers.

Images/Media
I believe that no additional images are necessary unless they were original images from the book. You do not want to add images from the movie into this article. Keep those things separate to prevent confusion and overlapping of article content. Some of the content will overlap, but you don't want to copy the Coraline (film) article too much.

EmBean02 Changes
EmBean02 added Coralines age into the Characters description. This is a nice detail, but I would recommend rephrasing the sentence to make it flow better! :)