User:Emiell490/Positive psychology/Snqadri Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Emiell490


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Emiell490/Positive psychology


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Positive psychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
So far I definitely agree with Dr. Rahn's feedback, but I don't think you need to hear that, just a reminder anyways!

I think you are off to a strong start and on the right track, but there are a couple of things I would recommend looking back on. For example, in the second sentence you edited, there is a portion that I would amend as it comes off as a bit biased(?) what I'm tryong to say is that it comes off as if you are inserting your own mindset when making said statement and I think by switching out a word or two or rewording it, it will have the more neutral stand point you are aiming for. I put asterisks down below where I think they word choice could come off as a little skewed just so you know exactly what I'm referring to, and hopefully so it might be able to help!

there are multiple crises (is crises the right word) that have not been addressed, and they  including those that are particularly **relevant** for people of color within the United States.

The only other reccomedation I have is again a word choice recomnedation! "In certain instances, it can be said"

I just think that the verbage here might be a little redundant as a reader and maybe this is something you can review.

Besides diction, I think you did a good job with staying relevant to the topic, besides my first suggestion, your added information comes off as neutral and I think you're doing great with representing underrepresented viewpoints! The citations you do have so far are credible, unbiased, and up to date and they work too.