User:Emily J. L./Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act/NicoleandersonOU Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Emily J.L)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emily%20J.%20L./Freedom_of_Access_to_Clinic_Entrances_Act?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act

Evaluate the drafted changes
(A lot of Emily's work was rearranging the order of the original article. I think this was a great choice as the original article did not have a lot of flow, it was somewhat choppy to read, and was lacking in information in some of the sections. One of the biggest changes that I noticed was Emily's addition of the section "Rationale for the Act". Before, there was hardly any background information as to why the act was created, and on top of this, this information was scattered around the original article. Emily restructured any background information into a more concise, easier to read format and she added a few sentences as well to give an ever deeper insight. The content that she added is well written, clear, concise, is neutral, easy to read and it benefits the article. There were no grammatical errors that I could notice.

Im not sure if you are getting rid of the other sections from the original article (i.e. Impact, Definitions) but I personally think that this are important to understanding the act little a more. I thought this would be an interesting thought to add.

One other difference that Emily adjusted was the introduction of the article. In the original, there was a small intro that explained who (which President) passed the bill and what the full name of the bill was. (Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act (FACE or the Access Act)) I would still include this information at the beginning just to introduce to audiences what we are reading about.

One other minor change that I would make is I would change the title of the one heading, "Actions Prohibited and Not Prohibited" to "Prohibited and Not Prohibited Actions" as this rolls of the tongue a little better.

Links work, great citations and good work Emily!!!)