User:Emilycs4970/National Security Act of 1947/Nemerson4970 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I'm reviewing Emilycs4970's work.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emilycs4970/National_Security_Act_of_1947?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * National Security Act of 1947

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey, Emily!

You picked an excellent piece of legislation to review for this project; it's so interesting to see that it's current Wikipedia page has plenty of opportunities to be updated. Regarding your edits, I think there is more that you could add to fill readers in on the legislative history of the Act. However, your distinction of how the two departments (the War and Navy Departments) were overseen by various Congressional Committees prior to the War is important and very relevant! I hope the following suggestions prove to be useful!

- I'd add some more information on what groups supported or were opposed to the Act.

- I think the lead section of the article could be added to so that people skimming the article get a clearer sense of the Act's major impacts. I think what is there right now is pretty good, but maybe you could add a bit more to it.

- Your evaluation of the article was spot-on; I think that more of the claims should be cited. I saw that you added some good citations to your draft edit, which indicates to me that you're headed in the right direction!

All that aside, great work thus far! I'm excited to see how this Wikipedia page will look after you are done with your edits. If you'd like a hand reviewing the grammar or flow of your sentences, I'd be happy to help! Just shoot me a message and let me know!

Best,

Natalia E. ~

Response to peer review
Hey Natalia! Thank you so much for all of this! I appreciate your advice – I do think the lead section needs to be added to and updated, I've been a bit hesitant since it seems like an intimidating edit to make, but it is something that needs to be done! And something I definitely plan on attacking next is the lack of citations for claims. I would love some help with reviewing grammar and flow of edits, especially with the intro and with a section that discusses the groups that were for and against the act! Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it. :)

-- Emily S.