User:Emilyngu3/Mighty-O Donuts/Carlematsu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing User: Emilyngu3 sandbox draft of Mighty-O Donuts.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Emilyngu3/Mighty-O Donuts
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mighty-O Donuts
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mighty-O Donuts
 * Mighty-O Donuts

Evaluate the drafted changes
- The lead has been updated and less important information that was not supposed to be in the lead has been moved down to a subheading section.

- There is a good introductory sentence that describes the institution that the author is writing about (donut shop)

- The lead mentions the subsections within the article except for the "recognitions" sections. I would add in a little sentence in the lead that acknowledges their recognitions

- The lead includes information about Might-Os donation/philanthropy. This is not in the body subsections at the moment so I would add that into a subsection or add another subheadings about their donations for it

- (update): The user has added an updated section about community involvement. There is a section that says that "mighty-donuts holds progressive values" and while I personally think this is pretty accurate, some might find that this is a subjective statement. I would maybe take it out and just say "mighty-o has shown support for social justice movements..."

- The lead is concise and not overly detailed. I would just add their donation efforts somewhere into the body of the article

- Content is relevant and up to date.

- There could definitely be more information in all subsections but I assume that the author will add that in in the future. Maybe the author could add a section about Mighty-Os notable menu products?

- I think maybe a section about "marketing" might be interesting and give more context to the company as a whole. Just about how Mighty-Os markets itself and advertises its business. Although it is a much larger company, Dunkin' Donuts has a marketing section that is interesting.

- I think more information about the way in which Mighty-O was founded would be great. I assume that the author will already be doing this. I think having a section about reviews and public opinion about Mighty-Os would also be good. This way you can focus on minority viewpoints about the restaurant.

- Content added is very neutral. There is no bias or overrepresented viewpoints. The article does not attempt to persuade

the reader of one position or the other.

- Another section about the expansion of Mighty-O would be great as well. I think this would also give good context to the shop as a whole

- I would say that the sources used are reliable. Most of them are informative news articles which serve to simply inform the public about the new donut location. If possible, I would include more literary articles maybe about the ingredients they use, vegan foods they have experimented with that others have also tried, etc. This might be hard because of the topic you are doing but it's just a suggestion.

- The articles are up to date and the links to articles work

- The article is easy to read and concise. The author has not written that much and a lot of it was from the original draft so it is hard to judge the quality of the writing. I think there should be more written in all subsections but I assume the author is already thinking of doing this.

- There could be more subsections like the ones I have already suggested.

- Overall, there has not been that much information added to the original draft, but that is understandable given that we just started these projects. There could be a lot more added to the subsections, especially the founding, and there could be more subsections added. Additionally, a section about donations could help the page. I also think that a section about customer reviews could highlight different perspectives about the donut shop. The different subsections have very relevant content within it and I think that is a strength that could be strengthened.