User:Emilysoulias/Sandbox

This will be the shared Sandbox for the article briberyEmilysoulias (talk) 20:09, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

Natalie's Ideas

 * I think that the article is mainly one sided and supports the fact that it is illegal in most instances. The article does inform the reader that a “rebate” is legal. A rebate is when you are getting a refund for something, like returning a book. The sources all support the fact that bribery is not allowed and shouldn’t be used in any way.


 * When looking at the reference page, I noticed a few sources were from 1996, early 2000s, and the most recent were from 2018. The older sources are still relevant for this article, they made sense in the article. I feel like some information could be added to the sport section and more specific examples could be added to the medicine and politics sections. I think as a group we should find more research to add to the weaker areas.


 * Something else we should change/add to the article is where could bribery be seen as okay and not as a negative. I feel like it will be helpful to include the other side of bribery and not just have all negatives included in the article. This could be seen in areas outside of politics, maybe somewhere not included in the current article. Nmr129 (talk) 20:29, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

Natalie's Draft Ideas about Editing the Medical Paragraph
The paragraph Medicine could use some more information in it, referencing to more specific areas. They include things about dentists, but I think that they should include more information about hospitals. In many hospitals commercial bribery takes place. Commercial bribery which includes dealing with employees of potential buyers to secure some type of advantage over other possible competitors in the business. Even though many businesses oppose this practice because it is deceptive, many medical practices still use it. For example, they will use it when trying to buy new equipment, such as medical monitors or computers. Nmr129 (talk) 20:34, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

Natalie's Polished Work
Nmr129 (talk) 03:27, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
 * For the sport corruption section, there needs to be more information included and more evidence. It is important when you have an article like this to have a lot of evidence to back you up. The sentence, "a well-known example of this manner of bribery in the sport would be the 2002 Olympic Winter Games figure skating scandal, where the French judge in the pairs competition voted for the Russian skaters in order to secure an advantage for the French skaters in the ice dancing competition," is really good but needs to be expanded on. There is a lot of information in the article attached to this article, so adding more from it can benefit the article.
 * The medicine paragraph needs more updated information in it. The pharmaceutical industry changes rapidly everyday and the information included currently is outdated a little. I feel like there is more bribery in hospitals than in dentist offices, but there is not enough information included. The paragraph on dentists seems accurate and was very interesting to read. The next paragraph talks about bribery with patients and says how they sometimes give gifts to doctors, but there isn't any solid evidence. The sentence "in countries offering state-subsidized or nationally funded healthcare where medical professionals are underpaid, patients may use bribery to solicit the standard expected level of medical care," needs evidence to back it up; I feel like that should be added into this article.
 * In the Legislation paragraph, there is a lot of information included to justify what is being said. In the second paragraph, there are 3 articles given to back up the information said, but it isn't talked about enough. The sentence, "the minimum penalty for either of these offenses is 10 years, and a potential fine," should be expanded on. For example, what is the penalty or how it is decided how long your punishment would be.

Kelly's Ideas
There are many sources listed that have not been used in the article, and I would want to fix this by adding sources that were only used throughout the article. The talk page mentions that there have been links that were black listed, which should not be used. In fixing this article, I wish to use more informative sources that will help clarify exactly what 'bribery' means, how it is used, and where it can be found. Many of the sources links were not working as well, so I would try to work towards having my sources work so that people would be able to check my work. Kellybo (talk) 21:31, 31 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Plagiarism and Sources

Kelly's Draft Ideas on Plagiarism

 * One citation that is cited in the article that is not used properly is the hyperlink to number 11. It mentions the AMA guidelines to responding to request, but have nothing to do with bribery. This is under the section of medicine.
 * The link to number 10 is not a reliable source, I would want to change this sentence and cite a different, more reliable source.
 * Plagiarism is found in the paragraph about politics, when it mentions the Watergate reference about ‘following money.’ There is no citation there when there should be and I will plan to fix this.
 * Under business, there is plagiarism when citing number 5, it is incorrectly cited.
 * The hyperlink number 16 is not a reliable source, would want to use a different source.
 * Under Sports Corruption, the first sentence is plagiarized and needs to be cited!
 * Citation is needed when talking about the example of bribery in the Olympic Winter Games in 2002 for figure skating.
 * Prevention under the Legislation section, when it mentions the 18 U.S. Code is plagiarized and needs to be cited, I will fix this.
 * Under Government, when talking about Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, the next sentence about ‘grease payments’ needs to be cited.
 * In the opening paragraph, after the hyperlink citation number 2, that sentence is plagiarized. Either need to cite, or rephrase in own words.
 * Under forms, the portion explaining the articles in the Criminal Law Convention on Corruption, it needs to be cited. This is plagiarism. Kellybo (talk) 15:00, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

Kelly's Polished Work

 * What I did to notice whether or not a portion of the article was plagiarized was there were a lot go hyperlinks, but there was not a lot of citations.
 * I went through most of the article searching basic ideas of each subcategory of bribery and would come up with a lot of red flags of plagiarism.
 * This is what I want to fix in this article because it comes up very frequently throughout the article.
 * There were certain aspects were the paraphrasing was fairly close to the source, so I will need to explore in more detail if they had plagiarized.
 * I need to definitely look more into the marginal cases, and make a decision if it should still be cited or not while maintaining the Wikipedia tone, style, and standards. Kellybo (talk) 14:52, 12 April 2019 (UTC)

= Emily's ideas == In the first paragraph they state that bribery is "any item of value to influence the actions of an official or other person in charge of a public or legal duty". Bribery can take place in other ways. They can also add a section of how to prevent bribes in other settings other than legal system and business settings. A great amount of information in this article is missing citation. The paragraph about bribes being referred to as other names in different countries is distracting while reading this section. I believe by adding a section splitting up forms it would be easier to follow. Emilysoulias (talk) 21:13, 31 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Write neutral
 * Citation
 * New section splitting up the forms section

Article draft
 * The sentence in the forms section "According to BBC news U.K, "bribery around the world is estimated at about $1 trillion (£494bn)". Although this is quoted it is considered plagiarism of cited sources. A way to change this sentence so it is not plagiarism we can add more information about that topic. We can talk about where bribery is most common and why it is more common in some places compared to other places.
 * Splitting the form section into multiple sections.
 * The first section can be paragraph 1, 4, 5 and 6. It describes the types of bribery and gives examples.
 * The next section could be labeled "Cultural bribes" and have paragraphs 2 and 3.
 * The third section can be "Action taken to stop bribery". This section can consist of paragraphs 7 and 8.
 * The politic section can be moved up to come right after the government section. The information in these sections will flow nicely together in this article. With these changes the article and information will be easy to follow. 165.230.224.11 (talk) 00:59, 8 April 2019 (UTC)

Emily's polished work
 * In the forms section "According to BBC news U.K, "bribery around the world is estimated at about $1 trillion (£494bn)" is considered plagiarism. Instead it could read "Overall, bribery is thought to be around one trillion dollars worldwide according to BBC news U.K".
 * The structures that made reading comprehension difficult were in the forms section. It was difficult to follow since it was jumping around to different parts of the topic every other paragraph. The ideas in my post above would fix that problem.
 * In the Government section, the second sentence is a run-on sentence. "United States law is particularly strict in limiting the ability of businesses to pay for the awarding of contracts by foreign governments; however, the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act contains an exception for "grease payments"; very basically, this allows payments to officials in order to obtain the performance of ministerial acts which they are legally required to do, but may delay in the absence of such payment". To edit this the first sentence could stop after grease payments. "United States law is particularly strict in limiting the ability of businesses to pay for the awarding of contracts by foreign governments; however, the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act contains an exception for "grease payments"". This could be the second sentence, " very basically, this allows payments to officials in order to obtain the performance of ministerial acts which they are legally required to do, but may delay in the absence of such payment". This is also a form of difficult comprehension due to sentence structure. 165.230.224.101 (talk) 21:20, 24 April 2019 (UTC)

References Kellybo (talk) 21:44, 31 March 2019 (UTC) Kellybo (talk) 21:44, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

47.20.186.79 (talk) 22:51, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

47.20.186.79 (talk) 22:51, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

Nmr129 (talk) 17:10, 1 April 2019 (UTC)

Nmr129 (talk) 17:10, 1 April 2019 (UTC)

Emilysoulias (talk) 15:40, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

15:40, 5 April 2019 (UTC)